I said I don’t want to learn more about
I said I don’t want to learn more about the Church of Latter Day Saints!!!
(Sylvester Stallone)
Picture by: dunno source. Caption by: kkehoe5 via Advanced Lol Builder
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Actually, I usually give props to the LDS folks for just going away when I say I’m not interested. My experience, anyhow.
Thank you
You’re lucky. That has never once happened to me. Then again, I live in Idaho where they are EVERYWHERE.
The sad thing is that he could only hit two or three of them. I wish that he could take his vehicle and remove all the religious zealots from our earth.
Then, with only the people that believe that they should take responsibility for their own actions here, we would be at peace.
and we could have a funny photo without a bunch of butthurt morons crying!
Did you ever notice that there were no “butthurt morons” crying in any comments above you?
And who ever said that religious people don’t take responsibility for their own actions?
Your comment is FAIL is so many ways…
You sound a lot like Hitler, wanting to kill an entire group of people. Bigotry- You’re doing it right.
Not really.
I don’t want to kill a race of people.
I really don’t want to kill anyone because I believe that we should all have the right to believe what we want. Now perhaps you want to kill your unborn child, that is your decision along with your significant other. Perhaps you would like to live in a secluded area with your family and raise barns with no electricity, once again, your decision. Perhaps you are in love with another member of the same gender. Whatever floats your boat. But when you and your religion say that the way to the holy land is to kill the non-believers, what then? Religion is a curse and a crutch for the weak. The world would be better off with out it.
Maybe you should look up what the LDS church believes. You would know that one of the 13 Articles of Faith states: “We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.” You may think religion is a crutch for the weak but the strongest men and women who have walked the earth have been spiritual giants: ex. Ghandi, Mother Teresa, Jesus Christ, Martin Luther King, Jr…. I could go on and on. I believe in allowing all men to believe what they feel is right. I would never be apart of a group of people who believes that God would have us kill anyone to make it back to Him. He loves all of His children and He wants them to be happy. Sometimes they don’t choose what would in the end make them happy but He doesn’t throw lighting bolts down, he allows them to make mistakes and hopefully come back to Him someday. I won’t be commenting anymore on this because I don’t believe you will take anything anyone says to heart and neither will a lot of the other people reading this. But I did want to make sure my opinion was heard as well. Thanks!!
You had me, up until the portion that you assumed that I was closed minded.
You seem the rare religious individual that feel that a relationship with God is what should be strived for, nothing more or less, it is the hippocrites and the frauds that trouble me most.
I believe that, had we met IRL, I would enjoy having a beverage with you and discussing it.
Perhaps, in the future, accusing someone of thinking like Hitler may be held until later in the conversation?
Godwin’s law!
Wow this coming from the guy who commented on killing people. Maybe you should just retract your previous statment.
“The sad thing is that he could only hit two or three of them. I wish that he could take his vehicle and remove all the religious zealots from our earth.” Not thinking like Hitler-You’re doing it wrong. Oh and I think you’ll find many LDS to be “rare religious individual[s]” the more you come in contact with us rather than reading random websites and listening to rumors of others supplemented by fragments by possible prejudgements.
Think about that “men believing what they feel is right…”
I’m just saying if you think that all men should do what they believe is right then you are letting the extremist Muslims get away with killing people because they BELIEVE it is right…
That’s where modern revelation saves the day. The Latter-day Saints believe in following the laws of the land when following their religion. Meaning they will not practice something if it’s illegal. Unfortunately, not all other religions have such wisdom.
And, Salta, maybe you should have quoted the one after that:
“12 We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law.”
But that doesn’t mean to just sit back and let bad laws in to play. Be persistent in voting down laws that are not good.
If only more “regular people” would do that too!
No religion actually says to “kill the non-believers.” Some deviants from major religions made these things up and infected others with them. If you are really open-minded you should first understand that.
here, here!
The funny part is, mormons are actually Christians with slightly different beliefs. Ive read up on it. Its so funny to see people make all the accusations of devil worship and things. They are a different sect of Christianity. get over it.
except that they aren’t christains at all. They believe that God is simply an exhaulted man. They call themselves christains and yet their religion contradicts the BIBLE!
Funny, considering we are the Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter Day Saints.
Isobella, kindly look up any definition of “christian” and please explain to everyone how Latter-Day Saints are no such thing. Thanks.
first i laughed a lot,
and then i thought “wait… that doesnt happen!”
so for anyone who doesn’t know about the LDS, they git out whenya say so.
Sure… we’re annoyed by them, and as a devoted atheisist moreso than some. But this goes a bit too far and isn’t even really funny. What’s next, and which groups should we advocate shooting down?
If this had been about Jehovah’s Witnesses or Scientologists, it would have been funnier, because those groups are both stranger and more persistent than the LDS missionaries (though as a Latter-Day Saint and former missionary, I will admit that “strange” and “persistent” are relative measures here). Also, even if the subject matter were better, there’s something far too vitriolic about this LOL. It’s too much rage, not enough funny.
I disagree with you. (About the JW stuff specifically. Im still not sure if scientology is a real religion yet, but if someone takes it seriously why would you say something like that man? You’re an RM. Show some class.)
Its not about shooting down anyone..this is comedy website after all.
Best to keep thy religion to thy self..
I don’t know where rambo lives, but all the LDS people i know are quite nice. I say that i am not interested and they say ok and that’s that.
I do wonder about how he could shoot at a mormon, when they all have bunkers with 2years of provisions
first sign of trouble and they are gone into the tight house
That food storage isn’t just for our families.. It’s also so we can take care of our neighbors at any signs of trouble =)
That food storage actually is very helpful but only for natural disasters and the such
Please explain to us about the conversion of the dead to Mormonism. This is something that needs to be questioned.
It’s not actually the conversion of the dead. It’s the performing of ordinances by proxy that require a physical body for the dead (such as baptism) so that if they convert in paradise their ordinances will be done and ready for them to accept.
If you are in Paradise…why the hell would you need to convert? What’s the point? If you’re already there, why do you need the inconvenience? Once you’re there, I’m sure there is no need whatever for all that denominational stupidity. Oh wait…or is there a special Mormon Heaven that’s better than the standard one?
Oh and by the way….what gives them the right to speak for, or put words in the mouth of, those who can’t speak for themselves, ie, the dead?
Well, as the second coming has not happened, the judgment has not happened. So there are some souls that lived good lives, but did not have the chance to be baptized, or never heard the good word, or was just taught that they should not be baptized. In the spirit world, those who are in spirit prison, or spirit paridise have the opporunity to accept the gospel. If they are in prison, and accept, they are moved up to paradise. And in paradise, they wait for the end. These ordinance are not the conversion. These are performed so that if the dead does so choose to accept the gospel, the work may have, or will be done for them.
You do realize that this sounds like a comic book, don’t you?
It is cool
The gospel never gets boring to me! And some other stories we have, like some in the book of Mormon, remind me of 300!
More like Mystery Science Theatre 3000
I will try explaining it in a simpler way.
When we die, we all go to the same place: The Spirit World. People who died without the gospel go to Spirit Prison, which isn’t really a prison. It is more of an ivy league school. There, everyone learns about the gospel, and later are given the opportunity to reject it or accept it.
Members of the church who are still alive and on earth go to temples to be baptized in behalf of those dead people. Once that happens, the dead, who are up in the spirit world decide if they want to accept that.
You speak as if this is absolute truth- when it absolutely is NOT.
Learn about the true history of your religion. Read Under the Banner of Heaven and then come tell us what you think. Joseph Smith was a con artist (used the same seer stones to “translate” the BoM as he used to “find water” before his visions. He was arrested for fraud) and a liar.
The church is true? And inspired? Then why did they once teach that interracial marriage should be punished by death? Or that girls are better off dying fighting to protect their “virtue” than to allow it to be taken? Why have there been hundreds of changes to the “sacred” (not secret!) temple rituals (which are masonic in origin, if you don’t believe me- look it up!) that were never, ever to be changed? Why did older generations have to mime slitting their throats and throwing their bowels out and promise to die before they betrayed the secrets of the temple? Why are “non worthy” family members not allowed to attend weddings? Why does the “restored” church of JC look absolutely NOTHING like the church Christ established here on church? He was the one that tore down rituals and berated people for pushing legalism and rules on others that kept them from God. He was the one that said the ONLY thing we needed was to come to Him and we were completely holy. The Bible says that what we wear, eat, drink etc doesn’t make a difference- yet LDS gives all these rules one must follow to be worthy.
For those wanting to know the TRUTH about LDS, try googling recovery from mormonism. Mo’s will tell you to never look anywhere else but the church for info, but if you were buying a Ford, would you only read Ford’s material, or would you look to see what others had to say as well? If this church is so true and right, it should stand up under the criticism. It doesn’t, though.
well, to be quiet honest, and mind you this is coming from a 13 year old boy, if that’s what you think have at it, no one will persecute you for it. However, if there is one who “recovers from mormonism” of course they’re going to say all the downsides to the church; it’s like eating at a terrible restaurant, you’re never going to mention the good things. And another thing, the “rules” you say about no drinking, smoking,etc. are, as a matter of fact, not rules at all; think of them more as guidelines. It’s just a little guidance, because everyone knows that drinking/smoking is bad for the body, and the church only wants to set those little bits of information to say that those things are not only frowned upon in the church, but also in then almost half of the world.
Funny cause in the 21 years of my being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints I have never once been taught anything you’re claiming (and I’m not brainwashed for any retard who’s going to pull that crap), where on earth did you get your information? Maybe people should keep their mouths closed when it comes to things they don’t know about. Oh and maybe those people who really want to know the truth about the church should go to sources that aren’t so blatantly biased. But you OBVIOUSLY know so much more on the subject than I do.
I completely 100% agree with Aaron.
Oh yeah! I remember that one Justice League of America comic about the Second Coming and spirits accepting the Gospel in Paradise! That was such a good one!
Um did you even pay attention to DA’s answer? Or are you making it seem like you’re open-minded by putting a ‘?’ at the end of your opinionated statement? (If you’re “confused” by my questions I just gave you 2 examples:)
Well said. Though probably not the best format in which to discuss things like this.
Still, the least he could do is learn the name of the church; it’s called the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
And the sad thing is that mormon missionaries have been shot at…
And hung, and tarred and feathered, and stabbed, kidnapped, etc. etc. etc.
i do find the picture humorous though
hm. I find a lotta things funny but this really lacks humor.
lol how isnt this funny??? because someone gets shot, bfd
i’m lost actually… did sly have a run-in with some mormons?
otherwise it’s not really funny.
“someone gets shot”
You find that funny?
What if that “someone” is one of your family?
Or you…
bfd
Would you be laughing if someone shot you?
I think he’s aiming at CNN.com
Here on the recent past the LDS commercial came up nearly every time I clicked a video. Might have just been my bad luck tho
……..I’m LDS and I don’t find this funny….As both me, and my two brothers served missions…When a person asked us to leave, we left. Simple as that….I have found some other LOLs on here not in the best taste but this crosses the line. If you look back in our history, when our church first started, people actually shot and killed us (until later in the 1900s it was actually still legal to shoot a ‘mormon’ in Missouri.)
LOL! If it was legal, it probably was with good reason…
Some religions don’t understand the simple fact that if a church/religion is not worth joining, you won’t convince people to join if you visit them with annoying messages, you’ll just piss them off more.
You are saying, that when a town was literally pillaged, the men tarred and feathered, the women raped and murdered, you say that is for good reason? Back then, missionaries for our church hadn’t started going out. Mindless murder never has a good reason. If you do think that it is for a good reason, I hope I never meet you in person.
You don’t know your history very well.
@KyleEvers: Sillynut is right, you really don’t know your LDS history very well. You have no one but your collective selves to blame for that. Every act that was committed on the Mormons was caused by the Mormons, most of them by a small group that Joseph Smith created called the “Danites”. What you are not taught in your sanitized history is that Haun’s Mill was actually a retaliation by the locals for several weeks of pillaging by the ‘Danites’. But they don’t teach that in Sunday school.
Why would you even…How can you dare to say…that is the most terrible sack of lies that I have ever heard. I would love to hear wear you got your info. Furthermore I would love to hear why you spend all of your time trying to tear down another person’s beliefs. Seems to me like a waste of time and effort that could be placed in doing some actual good. For the record, I am a Mormon (I’ve read several pieces of literature in and out of Mormonism) and I’ve never heard of the “Danites.”
I could care less if you’re Mormon or not. You clearly don’t know your Mormon History. And it’s apparent you only read SLC sanctioned materials.
Here’s some light reading for you. Try “The Mormon Hierarchy: Origins of Power” by Michael Quinn. He was the church historian for some time.
But then, Boyd K Packer has labeled him an anti-Mormon, so of course you’ll not read it.
“After the initial attack, several of those who had been wounded or had surrendered were shot dead. Members of the militia entered the shop and found ten-year-old Sardius Smith hiding under the blacksmith’s bellows. William Reynolds put his musket against the boy’s skull and blew off the top of his head”
Yep, this act seems fully justified to me.
You ar a great argument for retroactive late term abortion.
Never said it was justified. Only that it was retaliation.
“You ar [SIC] a great argument for retroactive late term abortion.” Where did you pick up this nice piece of ad hominem and red herring?
haha yeah. So how many hours did U spend on the internet studying the ‘mormons’? I was on like 3! And that was only last month! Pfft they probably read their ‘history’ in ‘books’ and ’schools!’ Brigham Young and his satelite schools: Hardvard, Yale and Pratt! (oh and I read on the internet that they own disneyland and mormons get in for free! oh and they took over utah by force and they’re renaming it ‘mormon-land’ or ‘danite-lover-ville’ whichever will attract more tourist money since money is all the mormons care about!) Books! Pfft! A sole-authored, opinionated webisite is just as credible as a published, researched book. haha yeah!
HAHA Yeah! Bee’s totally right! It was legal to segregate black kids from white at drinking fountains and on the bus! Hello? We all know that was for a WAY good reason! Am I right? Right?
I HATE it when I ask the mormans to leave that they dont! In fact they force their way into my house and force us to listen to their brainwashing!! Right? OMG!1!! Im moving to Missouri where I can actually USE that ol’ 2nd Amendment FOR A GOOD REASON!! HAHAH!!!1!!! right?
My dad served his mission in Missouri just a couple of years after the extermination order was finally repealed. I can just imagine some lawyer or politician coming across that while skimming through the law books and going “Well, *that’s* unconstitutional!”
Yeah, this LOL would have worked better if it had been about door-to-door salesmen.
The Mormons were hardly blameless innocents in their early history.
(Link) Mountain Meadows massacre.
Uncalled for, and you, i am sure, have no idea of the particulars. that was a group of humans acting independently from the Church.
I find it interesting that the only one actually convicted(by a Mormon jury no less) was one kicked out of the church by Young after the whole issue exploded. There were only two expelled from the church, and one who left the church and turned State’s evidence. Only one of the many involved was found guilty, and he was kicked out of the Mormon Church prior to being found guilty. Coincidence? I rather think not.
Excuse me but how about we let bygones be bygones as well as that action not being condoned by the church
You mean kind of like how the Mormons killed a peaceful pioneer wagon train, leaving only the little children that they kidnapped and raised as their own?
Right… and the LDS church was without fault in the MMM, right?
Quit acting so persecuted. When you stop dead dunking Jews and Obama’s family and others against their wishes or the knowledge of their family I’ll start showing you more respect. How would you like it if I “dead declared” you homosexual after you died? You belong to one of the most controlling, deceitful and pushy groups on the planet. And, apparently you can’t take a joke.
If you can tell me you’ve never said, “Oh, man! My mom’s going to kill me!” or “I’m so hungry I’m starving!” then you can get all high and mighty about joking about dying. If this isn’t funny, then I’m hoping you never, ever watch Tom and Jerry or any other movie or tv show that fictionally depicts death.
i agree with him. i’m LDS too and i don’t find this funny in the least.
I actually felt like that’s what a few folks were thinking while I was on a mission. Not really funny to me… just… wow, the memories…
If this had been directed at Scientology…major lols.
I don’t get many LDS boys knocking on my door, anymore. Maybe word got around that I tend to give them a hard time. I invite them in to sit down and chat about why it is that a virtuous, God-fearing woman who does everything she can to lead a blameless life can’t get into the Celestial Kingdom without being married to a Mormon priest, among some of their other weirder beliefs. When you pull out a Quad (the Mormon Holy books, comprised of Bible, Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants [their 'modern revelations'], and The Pearl of Great Price) and outline the passages from Joseph Smith that directly conflict with their own Bible, they tend to thank you for your time and leave. To say nothing of how they think Native Americans, specifically those of Aztec and Mayan descent, are of Israeli descent, despite the fact that every DNA test has proven that their roots are Asian, not Middle Eastern. Or that they used to teach that black people have dark skin because it’s the mark of Cain and only changed their minds in ‘78… I could go on, and I used to, when 18-year-old kids that are sent to knock on my door without knowing much of their own history. Maybe I’m just an ass. I’d like to think that I might just have encouraged them to learn a bit more about this church they thought I should join.
Brava/Bravo. v^n_n^
“maybe I’m just an ass” Yep.
Kudos to you! The more I’m told not to look at outside sources, the more suspicious I get.
I don’t trust any organization that tells me to just trust them, not question authority or who answers most questions with one of the following:
1. We’ll understand some day.
2. Have you prayed about it? The Spirit will confirm it to you.
3. You’re trying to come up with excuses to not obey God.
4. You’re not ready for that information. Milk before meat.
I have talked to mormons who know all about Smith’s 30+ wives, including the ones married to other men at the time, and the 14 year old, and explain it away by saying “God must have known what he was doing…” The amount of ignorance and/or cognitive dissonance in this org is astounding.
on the contrary, every missionary is encouraged to learn as much about the church as they can.
and those that do only have their testimonies strengthened because of it.
i don’t really believe that i’ve ever found anything contradictory between any of the standard works, especially not with modern revelation.
Bull malarkey.
you can disagree if you like, but i don’t know that you have much experience in the mission prep classes.
also, any INTELLIGENT individual WOULD research as much about a church and cause as they can before giving up two years of their lives and more than 10,000 dollars, living in a different country.
but i guess thats just what I would do.
Bekky, they are only allowed to read authorized materials. It is a well known fact that LDS, inc. sanitizes its history to paint everything in the best possible light. After all, it was Boyd K Packer himself that said that only spiritually uplifting and faith-promoting truth is helpful.
‘helpful’. to your testimony. if you believe in ANYTHING and you hear terrible things being said about it, truthful or not, it will hurt your feelings and your opinion of the matter.
until you thoroughly research it and make an educated decision.
however, he didnt FORBID the researching of church material, and he wouldnt. in fact, i can tell you LDS people are encouraged to learn about the church history.
several books from Deseret even have information about many black-marked things that the LDS have been involved in.
Believe what you want. It’s your delusion.
Question…did you become stupid over time or were you born that way?
“Only allowed to read authorized materials” Where the hell did you come up with that one?
Nice ad hominem. Equally pointless.
ROFL! I couldn’t resist!
Its a shame. No one should really be shot at, let alone ridiculed. My belief is is that if anything is wrong with religions or the like I don’t believe it is the fault of whatever god(or gods or whatever). People seem to always blame the world’s problems on god, but who always causes it? Man does. Evil is not a invention of god, but of man’s basic desires. Example, I can’t remember what king it was, but there was an english king that created his own church, even corrupted parts of the bible to fit his beliefs. That is a perfect example of how evil is man’s creation.
“it is the fault of whatever god(or gods or whatever)”
Or lack thereof?
The point of these comments shouldn’t be to point out what is possibly wrong with other people’s belief, as it is every man’s inherent right to believe what they want. These comments should be critiquing the LOL above.
There is only one God?
“Unto thee it was showed, that thou mightest know that the Lord he is God; there is none else beside him” Deuteronomy 4:35
“… you have got to learn how to be Gods yourselves, and to be kings and priests to God, the same as all Gods have done before you,… To inherit the same power, the same glory and the same exaltation, until you arrive at the station of a God…. ” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, pp. 346, 347)
Isa 44:8 Fear ye not, neither be afraid: have not I told thee from that time, and have declared it? ye are even my witnesses. Is there a God beside me? yea, there is no God; I know not any.
agreed.
my “agreed” was to the comment before, about commenting on the LOL.
however, if you’d even heard the first discussion from the missionaries it talks about the reasons why we are on earth, which is that exaltation Joseph Smith talked about.
and deuteronomy is refferring to that fact that there is no other God above Heavenly Father to us.
It would be better if it said
“I said I don’t want to see another #@$@ Chuck Norris “fact” on this site!!”
In fact, i’m going to recaption that right now.
ahahahahah!
now THATS a caption i enjoy!
Here you go http://cheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=4728144
THANK YOU!!!!
oh cut the poor kids some slack – they always volunteer to help me with yardwork when they come over to try and talk me into religion, and i give them dinner and iced tea. always such nice boys and girls.
okay… uh… LDS kids help you and you give them iced tea? do they drink it? ’cause “mormons” aren’t supposed to drink tea or coffee
I knew a woman who sprayed hair spray in their face then lit a match saying, “I AM A SATANIST!” She proceeded to chase them out of the yard. ….needless to say, the guys never returned.
…Oh uh… not that I condone that sort of behavior….
As someone who grew up new salt lake city, I find it a little funnier than I should. Actually a lot.
Yikes…
I’m Leaving for my mission in about six months
8-o
Well, thank you sir for your time, have a nice day!!!!!!
As the author of this lol I find it surprising that most of the comments are very negative. I do not condone the use of force on missionaries, I just found this to be a funny and witty caption to make. I was not aware of the history of shotting Mormons. Most of the comments said shooting at someone because of their beliefs was wrong, but some said if it was directed at Scientology or Jehovah Whitenesses it would be funnier. I find the contradiction interesting, just because they are less accepted it is OK? I thought about doing it for Scientology, but I have never approached at my house by any followers and that would be overkill since a shot at Scientology is an easy laugh. I have been visited at my house at least once a year and they do leave when I tell them I am an Atheist. So in conclusion if you are offended by this lol, sorry and get over it, it’s just a lol.
I apologize to you if my initial comment started that all off – I was just thinking that compared to, say, the JW folks the LDS guys have been easier to get rid of in my experience – I got the lol though, and based on the comments so far I suppose it depends on who’s harassing – wups! Ha ha…uh, prosel…wait, talking, yeah, talking to you. Plus it was a chance to prevent an ordinal posting.
.
Maybe timeshare salesmen would’ve been better – who likes them?
So… it’s not okay to joke about “killing” LDS, because that’s never funny and life is sacred and blah, blah, blah… but it’s okay to say it about salesmen?
*headdesk*
Ah, I was once a missionary and I don’t find this too incredibly offensive (but not really funny either). I think people see different proselyting religions as more aggressive than others based on personal experience. I think the level of aggression is a lot more based on individuals personalities than what they’re trained to do. I was always happy to just have a conversation if they weren’t interested; at least they’d find out that I was actually a human being and not quite as radical and illogical as they thought (and I found out how nice and reasonable members of other religions could be as well).
I had a Mormon internet friend say “EEWWWW!” to my digital face when I told him I’m pansexual. I expected more from him ’cause he seemed to be a nice guy, but he let his religious beliefs get in the way of our friendship.
I still don’t think much of religions that tell various people they’re going to Hell for reasons out of their control, but at least time and chance lead me to a decent, open-minded Mormon-Catholic. We’re dating now.
I find this caption amusing because I would like to open fire on intolerance. I don’t think shooting people is funny, but I still cackled. So maybe I’m a bit of a hypocrite for enjoying possible schadenfreude.
I don’t find this funny pointed at any religion – Chuck Norris only slightly.
“Pansexual” – had to look that one up. But hey, what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.
Just don’t invite me to dinner….
Awww, but my twin makes these wonderful little apple-cinnamon muffins! You’d love ‘em with maple syrup or honey! XD
It is hilarious!
I don’t know where you people live that say the missionaries leave when you ask them too, or when you say you arn’t interested…cuz that’s bullshit where I am. They are aggressive little shits, and once we had to call their mission office and issue a complaint because they wouldn’t leave when we asked them, and one even had the nerve to flirt with my daughter while I was standing there!!!
Their church is based on lies from a man that was a theft, a liar, and a fraud…it is all over the internet how the church is now found out; it is dying..their membership is dropping..they claim 4 million members, but there is really only 1 million and dropping, because people are finding out the truth.
By the way..their isn’t ‘one true god’…you silly girl.
From the beginning of time of man (40,000 years) we have worshipped a female creator…it wasn’t until the crusades that a creation of a single male deity persecuted the poor pagans…’believe what we do, or we’ll kill you’.
Just remember: The Goddess created Your god!
Don’t believe everything you read on teh internets.
As an LDS myself, all these little conspiracy theories only make me laugh. Let me clear up some things said about the church. We have 13 and a half million members, and 10% of that is over the past 5 years. We don’t count dead or excommunicated people as members. We don’t worship Joseph Smith. I think polygamy is weird and we’ve stopped practicing polygamy over 100 years ago. I don’t really care about homosexuals, it’s just a sin in our church.
You don’t worship good’ole Joe? You have hymns dedicated to the man. He is considered perfect regardless of the fact that he had 30+ wives, including one 14 year old.
I guarantee I know more about your “faith” than you do. And yes, I came into it with a very open mind. As someone who is a Christian, why wouldn’t I want “more” like the church offers? So I did the lessons, read the BoM, went to sacrament meetings- but the more I was told not to look any further (and I assure you, I was ORDERED not to look into non-LDS approved info) the more I knew I had to. And I’m glad I did.
We don’t worship Joseph Smith. People sing songs about Queen Elizabeth but that doesn’t mean the British worship her. And he didn’t have 30+ wives.
The reason we are told not to read anti-mormon literature because people can write anything in books. So they will make up things or twist the truth about our church’s history and certain anyone will believe it.
Actually- if you go to the church’s very own geneology site and search for Joseph Smith it will list all of his wives. Since this site won’t let me post links, I assume, try the website wivesofjosephsmith dot org, and they give the direct link to Smith’s page on family search dot org. I guarantee I didn’t make any of it up- it’s straight from the LDS site and their info on JS.
All of the info I have or has convinced me that LDS is a cult came directly from or can be verified by LDS materials.
You make up good stories. Ever thought of writing lame Vampire novels? You’d be good at it.
Miss Peanuts-
Your comment made my day. Thank you so very much.
I am glad it made your day, but unfortunately I wasn’t talking to you.
Just because something is first, doesn’t mean it is right. The existence of a flat earth was first, do you still believe that too?
The Mormons I have known are genuinely nice people. They’d give you the shirt off their back if you needed it. However, I find their religion laughable and disturbing, to say the least. This pic made me LMAO.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extermination_Order
It isn’t funny at all…
I find it funny. Mainly because the Mormons I know wouldn’t leave me alone for ANYTHING and especially my kids. And sure, they might leave when you tell them to, but then they come back, and come back again, and again and again. They do not honor the “go away and bother me no more.”
haha that happened to me and my two sisters (and still does)
when i went to high school here (in utah) my friend bet that couldnt go throughout the school year without saying one bad word and the bet was if i said a bad word i would have to go to church with him and if i went the whole year without cursing he would give me 20 bucks so i said the bet was on and on the last day of school i said damn it out loud and he said that counted as a bad word so i had to dodge him throughout summer break just so i wouldnt go and his older sister kept giving me books about the religion and telling me that its a good read.wow i did not mean for that to be a long ass story.
LOL. Thats awesome. I’m LDs and I think It’s hilarious. My brother got back from his mission like 2 weeks ago, and you should hear some of the funny stories like this he’s told us. He actually had somebody pull a broad sword on him. A lot of different stuff like this does happen, and most people are suprised when they see all it takes is just to say you are not interested. lol. So touchy . . .
Hey, If you can’t laugh at yourself (and the other odd stuff that may happen to you, Like getting a broad sword pulled on you) just go hide under a rock.
LIGHTEN UP, everyone. It’s a JOKE. If you can’t laugh at yourself, you have serious problems.
I personally LMAO and sent it to everyone I knew.
Oh, my heck . . .
Back in the mid-80s I worked at the Missionary Training Center making a series of video and audio tapes for the missionaries to use in their study. Toward the end of the project those of us who had worked on the project for the previous year or so put together a parody version for own enjoyment. One of the missioaries in the latter was an Elder Rambo, who for some reason carried a machine gun and grenade launcher as he and his companion went tracting . . .
comedy shouldn’t be about putting people down. it should be about making them laugh and forget the bad things in life. any joke that alienates and mocks a specific group of people isn’t accomplishing that goal. also, it’s not really very clever. FUNNY FAIL!!!!!
You should also learn to not take yourself so seriously. Take the stick our of your butt.
Actually, a great deal of comedy is about putting people down! See just about any comedy on TV or in movies. It’s about making fun of people’s foibles. To paraphrase the writers of South Park: when you start picking and choosing who not to make fun of, that’s when the real discrimination starts.
Or….. for that matter, look at almost every entry of failblog, roflrazzi, punditkitchen…… if you think comedy isn’t about putting people down, you are on the WRONG website, my friend.
I find this fairly funny. Although I myself am LDS I’m not exactly the most devout. I occasionally have gone on what we call “splits” with the missionaries here and for the most part the people here are pretty open to learning about us.
Sorry to those more prominent members who did get offended by this. I only really recall an old conference session where one of the general authorities said that “it is really a choice to be offended by something.” I choose to take humor, bad or no, as it is.
Also I’m not very easy to offend either so..
>>(u-no-it) Don’t believe everything you read on teh internets.
Especially if it’s on a pro-LDS site.
Ok, as a non-mormon living in Utah, I have to say that while they do come around more than occasionally thanks to my well-meaning, but slow-learing neighbors, LDS missionaries do understand the meaning of ‘No, thanks.’
Doesn’t I’m not ROTFLMAO.
LoL This is so freakin funny.
DIE MORMONS WITH YOU WRETCHED POLYGAMY!
whatever…
ha. im mormon and i thought this was funny. you got the name wrong though….Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints…….
I wasn’t offended by this LOL until I started reading the comments.
Of course, you’re free to say what you wish, but think about how you feel when someone puts down something that’s of the utmost importance to you. Do unto others…
Re: “SLC approved” reading materials: SLC does not tell anyone what to read or what not to read. They merely counsel members to avoid materials that are contrary to the teachings of the church, such as anything pornographic, etc.
Re: the massacre: You can’t judge a church of 13 million members worldwide based on something that happened 150 years ago, carried out by a small number of individuals.
God and Jesus belong in Israel only not the rest of the world.
im an uber mormon and i found this funny, funny, funny! what i dont find extra funny is all the crap you anti mormons put out there. before you say anything get your facts together about what we believe. oh, and when you protest outside our events here in utah, all you do is confirm something thats said in our scripture.
ps. just thought id mention this. we might believe that the godhead is three individual, physical beings. but realize that you (meaning other christian religions that believe this) believe that jesus was the son of god and god himself at the same time.
Naming fail. It’s not the church of latter day saints but the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.
It’s a small but important detail. Some people already don’t think we’re christian.
And yes I did find this picture funny. I’m not a hardass or something that can’t see the humor in a picture.
You’re NOT Christian. That is the biggest lie you tell.
The temple ritual used to have a skit in it where Satan pays a protestant minister to deceive the people by having them follow a God that is so big that He cannot be contained but so personal that he abides in our hearts, and offers his love through grace alone. Such a gospel is mocked within the Mormon church, yet it is 100% Biblical.
You also say that you believe the Bible, but you teach that God was a man (no, He has never changed- as He is He always was) that JC and Satan are “spirit brothers” (wrong again), that marriage is a requirement for the highest level of heaven (nope, just faith in JC), that we can become Gods (no…. we can’t), that God has a human body and lives on a planet or star or something like that named Kolob, that there is a Heavenly Mother, BY taught that some sins are not covered by the blood of Christ and can only be covered by the shedding of the sinner’s own blood, you need handshakes and passwords to get into the Celestial Kingdom, that you need sacred garments to keep the Lord’s approval and blessing, that caffeine makes you unworthy to be in God’s presence…
You have been told, over and over, that you are God’s one true church, that the rest of us are wrong, etc. Paul warned against false prophets that tell us what our itching ears want to hear- and that’s exactly what this cult is. Don’t like the idea of being separated by death! Well, believe in us, and we’ll sell you the idea of eternal family! (The NT says there is no marriage in heaven. And, indeed, Paul encouraged us to stay single.) Want to become a God some day? You can! Don’t like the idea of salvation by grace alone because it’s too humbling, but instead want to work for it?! No problem! We’ll give you a lifetime of hoops to jump through so you can feel superior to others and feel like you have “earned” your salvation.
Plain and simple: you have been brainwashed.
Is this all you do all day? Really? If you are so dead set against this religion why do you even bother talking about it? Did some LDS person make fun of your mother and you were so offended that you would not rest until you got revenge? Seriously. Get a hobby. You will feel much better when you do. Grudges are bad for the heart. They make you die quicker.
I know with all of my heart and soul that LDS is a cult leading people from God and the true Christ. So yes, I do confront people and point out the lies of the “faith.” Pick on my mom? No. Lie about God and His Word… that will get me going every time.
where do you get off saying that we aren’t Christian? when our church is called The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints?
You really need a hobby. i agree with miss peanuts. but if your Christian then why do you complain against a church that does everything that they can to represent christ in all that we do. we try our best to choose what is right and not what is easy.
My brother bipolarbear i love you and forgive you even if you don’t apologize i won’t write anything more. i hope the best for you. just remember that we are on the same side because we are both on Christ’s side, even if we have slightly different beliefs.
I guarantee that the “Christ” you represent is NOT the one that I worship. The God I believe in is ONE God, and He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. He was NEVER a man, and I am not capable of becoming a God like He is. I will not be exhaulted and have my own planet to live on with my “forever family.” Jesus is NOT a “spirit brother” to Satan. God does not have a human body, and He does not reside on a star near Kolob. Being married and having children is not a requirement to get to heaven- and there are no “levels of glory.” There is a real hell where those who do not know Christ BEFORE THEY DIE will spend eternity.
I also don’t believe that my right to be in His presence hinges on whether or not I drink alcohol or caffeine, or pay my 10%, or wear magic undies. Every last bit of my salvation and worthiness comes from Jesus- not anything I can do. Your entire religion is set against that. If it weren’t, no one would need a temple recommend.
BY also preached that there were sins that were not covered by the blood of Jesus- and could only be covered by spilling the blood of the sinner. THAT’S another lie.
I did not ask for, and do not NEED or want your forgiveness, so you can keep it for yourself.
Anyone wanting to know the truth about LDS google sites like “the wives of joseph smith” (all info on his 30+ brides, including the teens and women already married to other men, can be validated through the church’s own records) “RfM” and mormoninfo dot org.
I am willing to go toe-to-toe with anyone about whether or not I consider LDS “christian” or not. The Lutheran, Baptist, Catholics, Presbyterian and Methodist churches have all taken a stand on the question of whether or not Mormons are Christians by their definition- and they all say no. You can find this info by googling “are mormons christians” and clicking on a link that should come up from iir dot org.
You may use the same words I use, but you redefine them. Don’t you DARE tell me that I agree with you when I know damn well that I do not.
The second i start attacking your religion you can attack mine.
Whether or not they are different Christs, the principles we live by are very similar, and therefor worth SOMETHING, at least for arguments sake. we’re living to be like Christ, and therefor calling ourselves Christians.
If i believe in Christ, a different Christ than you believe in, it’s all going to be pinned on me on judgment day, so you might as well stop getting angry at us for not bashing your religion.
I take it EXTREMELY personally when anyone devalues the name of my Savior- and that’s exactly what the cult does. You know the way you feel when people talk about the temple ceremonies out of context- those masonic rituals you do and the handshakes and the tokens (health in the navel, marrow in the bones, strength in the loins and in the sinews…) Those things are sacred to you, right? You feel upset when someone does something that you believe slanders that, right?
Well, I hate the fact that LDS prance around with lies like “We’re Christians! Just like you! But we have the next testament of JC!” I know that it’s a lie and a rip off and I have just as much right to defend what I know is true as you do.
I will never stop telling people what I know to be true and shedding light on an organization that is leading people astray.
And your people “bash” my religion every day when you send your mishies door to door selling your religion, and as I mentioned above- your temple rituals used to out and out mock my beliefs. So you can say what you want, but it will never shut me up or make me ashamed of saying loud and proud: LD$ Inc is a cult that rips families apart and destroys lives.
I thought I called Godwin’s Law on this thread! (July 21, 2009 at 12:52 pm) Why’s it still going on?
Anyway, bipolarbear, although I respect your determination, you’ll have to be careful when you try to go “toe-to-toe” with the Mormons. After all, we have just as much scripture as you do, and then some!
No seriously, if this is a “who is Christian contest,” you might want to play the love card a little bit more. I seem to remember something about Jesus saying “feed my sheep” to Peter, after asking Peter if he loved Him. I do not believe that means to bash.
It’s true that Mormons aren’t perfect; sometimes LDS people do bash others. I know that we’re instructed not to. It’s no secret that we (like any other church that claims to have the truth) believe we have something that other churches lack, but we are taught to share in a spirit of goodwill.
If you really want to get us, that’s probably a good place to start. Share with us in a spirit of goodwill. You may be bold; we read the words of the Apostles in the New Testament, and they were bold, with great successes sometimes. Again, you may be bold in declaring what you believe to be truth, but it would behoove you, if you intend to convince people of anything, to do so in the spirit of goodwill.
bipolarbear what the heck is your problem. you go on and on and on make up lies on how we are a cult and dont belive in jesus christ. so you dont like us big deal can you plz keep your thoughts to your self. We never said any thing to you. I know a person who was shot and killed on a mission this is not cool at all
totally not funny.
Seriously, there are plenty of other things I would rather use for target practice.
Wow. Peeps need to chill out. I really don’t think that internet comments on a lol site is a pratical place for theological discussions. No one is going to change anyone elses mind. And blanket statments about any religion, race, etc is by definition very close minded. And yes, I’m mormon. And thought it was slightly funny, would have been funnier if the name was correct. Really though. CHILL. Forreals.
rachel
“I…don’t think that…comments on a lol site is a practical place for theological discussions.”?
Au contrare!
It is THE PERFECT PLACE for such discussions–though the Disney Channel might be an even better place…
I thought it was pretty funny. And truth be told, I don’t think you’ll convince anyone of anything over ICHC.com… Not from either sides.
Just give this 1 unicorn if you hated it and be on your way.
I’m LDS, and I got a laugh out of this (:
Missionaries are very respectful people,
who leave when asked… but they do seem
to be everywhere, and that’s the point!
So I found this lightheartedly entertaining!
The second i start attacking your religion you can attack mine.
Whether or not they are different Christs, the principles we live by are very similar, and therefor worth SOMETHING, at least for arguments sake. we’re living to be like Christ, and therefor calling ourselves Christians.
If i believe in Christ, a different Christ than you believe in, it’s all going to be pinned on me on judgment day, so you might as well stop getting angry at us for not bashing your religion.
…how the Traditional “Christian” God is kinda like the BCS? For the vast majority of the population, they’re denied a shot at the title before the season even starts. According to anthropologists, approximately 99.99999% (give or take a few digits) of all humans in history have never heard the name of Jesus to accept it. Good to know there’s such a vindictive and unloving God up there who’s more than willing to chuck His children into bipolarbear’s “real hell where those who do not know Christ BEFORE THEY DIE will spend eternity.”
Maybe, just maybe, THAT’S the reason those deceived Mormons so unceremoniously (ha ha) “dunk the dead.” However misguided they may be, their doctrine that everybody gets a shot is a whole HELLUVALOT more “Christlike” than bipolarbear’s “CONDEMN-’EM-ALL-’CEPT-FOR-ME-AND-THE-FIVE-OR-SO-OTHERS-WHO-HAPPEN-TO-HAVE-BEEN-BORN-AFTER-JESUS-SHOWED-UP doctrine seems to be!
“AND GET THE FRICK OFF MY LAWN!!!”
lol this is awesome. I live in Utah so I know how it is