A REAL HEROINE
A REAL HEROINE
Isn’t a clumsy, useless, airheaded, sparkle-loving twit.
(Kate Beckinsale)
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I can think of a lot of heroines that aren’t any of those things….
I can think of a lot of problems with this heroine too. Enough to make one of these in fact.
Agreed. For example, real heroines aren’t sociopathic, lingerie-wearing, violence-glorifying one-trick ponies with no real depth of character either.
And real heroines tend to abandoned the idea of looking sexy in favor of clothes that will protect them and they can fight in (sorry, no leather bodysuits).
isn’t it funny that, just like ‘Bella’, she’s pale from never going outside and has no muscle tone, from you know, fighting or doing anyhting physically taxing.
That’s ’cause she’s a VAMPIRE, they don’t need muscles or armour, gosh.
Or, indeed, to breath.
uh, hello? Wonderwoman!! that little number isn’t exactly… coverage-offering, and then there’s the boots with heels. yet still, she kicks @$$
What is it exactly that causes you to have so much against her? Let me guess, your looks don’t qualify you for even half of the clothes she wears? Get off her back ffs…
So, you’re saying that sice they don’t like the way they dress, they’re obviously some fat, pimple faced old woman who isn’t confident about her looks? No, my friend, just no. Maybe they don’t like her because she dresses like a slutty, degrading girl. You want a real Heroine? Read the Maximum Ride books.
I LOVE MAXIMUM RIDE!!!!! Now that’s a real heroine! And she can kick some major @$$!!!!!!!!!
frist!
Fail
Edward Cullen (né Edward Anthony Masen) is a fictional character from Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight series. He features in the books Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn, as well as the Twilight film, and the as yet unfinished novel Midnight Sun – a re-telling of the events of Twilight from Edward’s perspective. Edward is a vampire who, over the course of the Twilight series, falls in love with, marries, and has a child with Bella Swan, a human teenager who later chooses to become a vampire also. In the 2008 Twilight film, Edward is played by actor Robert Pattinson.
Twilight
In Twilight, Edward meets Bella Swan, a human girl whose thoughts he is unable to read, and whose blood smells overwhelmingly sweet to him.[2] He fights a growing attraction to her, but after saving her life on several occasions, he succumbs and eventually falls in love with her. Edward admits to Bella that he is a vampire, and that although he retains the physical body of a seventeen-year-old, he was actually born on June 20, 1901. His adoptive father, Carlisle Cullen, transformed him into a vampire in 1918 to prevent him from dying in the Spanish influenza epidemic in Chicago, Illinois. Carlisle instilled in him a sense of morality uncommon in most vampires, and central to his way of life is the refusal to consider humans as food.
However, Edward constantly warns Bella against being with him, perceiving her life to be at risk if she continues to associate with him. Bella’s love and confidence in Edward’s restraint cause her to ignore his warnings, even after she becomes the vampire James’ target. Unlike the Cullen family, who are “vegetarian” vampires (committed to only feeding on animals), James regularly feeds on humans and will not stop until he drinks Bella’s blood. With his family’s help, Edward is able to save Bella from James’ predations, but how to assure Bella’s continued safety remains an open question.[3]
New Moon
In New Moon, Edward’s fears for Bella’s safety intensify when she cuts her finger and is almost attacked by his brother Jasper. In an attempt to protect her, he convinces her that he no longer loves her, and moves away with his family, leaving Bella heartbroken. Edward finds it difficult to live without Bella, and becomes severely depressed at the prospect of an infinitely long and meaningless life. After he mistakenly learns from his sister Rosalie that Bella has committed suicide, Edward attempts to convince a group of Italian vampires, the Volturi, to kill him. Together with his sister Alice, Bella rushes to Italy and stops Edward before the Volturi can destroy him.
Edward explains why he left, and apologizes to Bella. She eventually forgives him entirely, and they continue with their relationship as though Edward had never left, with the exception that Bella has ties that cannot be broken with a werewolf named Jacob Black. Bella successfully seeks the support of Edward’s family on turning her into a vampire. While Edward is furious at the prospect, he later agrees to change her himself if she agrees to marry him first.[4]
Eclipse
In Eclipse, Bella agrees to marry Edward on the condition he will make love to her while she is still human. Edward eventually relents and agrees, on the stipulation it will only occur after they are married. The plot is driven by the machinations of the vampire Victoria, who, seeking revenge for the death of her mate James, is hunting Bella and creating new vampires to build an army. A grudging truce is made between the Cullens and the Native-American werewolf pack led by Sam Uley and Jacob Black, a friend of Bella’s who was there for her when Edward broke her heart. However, the truce is endangered when Bella realizes Jacob means more to her than she thought. Ultimately, Edward accepts that Bella cares for Jacob and successfully destroys Victoria, and Bella acknowledges that Edward is the most important person in her life. Edward tells Bella that they may attempt making love before they get married, as he realizes that she spends too much of her life trying to please other people. However, she refuses his offer and says that she will do everything the right way: marriage, making love, and then becoming a vampire.[5]
Breaking Dawn
Breaking Dawn sees Edward and Bella marry. Bella becomes pregnant on their honeymoon, and the rapid growth of the half-human, half-vampire fetus swiftly impacts on Bella’s health. Edward tries to coerce her into having an abortion in order to save her own life. However, Bella feels a bond with her unborn child and insists on giving birth. Edward comes to feel love for the baby as well, after he hears its thoughts and learns that the baby loves Bella in return. Bella nearly dies giving birth in an emergency c-section, but Edward successfully delivers his daughter and then injects Bella’s heart with his venom, healing her wounds by turning her into an immortal vampire. During Bella’s painful transformation, Jacob imprints on their baby daughter, Renesmee.
After a vampire named Irina mistakes Renesmee for an immortal vampire child—a creation forbidden in the vampire world—the Volturi arrive to destroy the Cullens. Edward stands with Bella and their allies to convince the Volturi that Renesmee is not an immortal child and poses no threat to their existence. Once the Volturi leave, Edward and Bella feel free to live their lives in peace with their daughter.[6]
What a load of sentimental mushy dribble. Damn fairies dressing up as vampires for Halloween
Wikipedia knows how to tell it like it is!
Agreed. In the fantasy genre, they qualify more as Elves than any type of Vampire.
o.0 WHY DO I CARE
oh wait – look at that – I don’t. Just thought I’d take time out of my life to tell you that. Have a nice day.
You fail. Ordinal post rule is supposed to be facts, not crappy books that should never have been published.
@ Death by Taco [loves being abstract.]
What the hell makes you think any of us care about Twilight?
Plus, she comes packing with probably enough fire power to take out a lot of sparklers
Nor is she a weak runway model who can’t jump any distance without the aide of wires and who had to be coached for a month on how to hold a pistol without looking like she’s never held one before and STILL screw it up.
All actors have to be coached in stunts to reduce the risk of self-injury if they choose not to use a stunt-double. She did real well in both Underworlds and Van Helsing.
For all the Twilight twits, that is a real vampire, not that wussy, sparkling wanna-be.
“Real vampire”
No. such. thing.
Hello. May I enter your domicile?
Are you going to bring your three, uhm… wives or whatever they are? You know, those rape fantasies come to life.
I present to you one of my favorite phrases:
Prove it.
Of course, you really don’t have to prove it unless you want to convince us, I’m certainly not going to force you to prove it, as likely you, or anyone, can’t. And, before you say it, I know I can’t prove vampires exist either. But I, personally, believe in them, and you don’t, and those are personal choices.
And, just for the record, I don’t believe in the sparklepires.
Is this directed to me? Because my point is there’s no “real” vampire to get wrong in fiction.
Oh. Fiction.
Yeah, that makes sense then. In fiction, vampires can be virtually anything.
And, @IvanTheMildlyAnnoying, yes, I am Christian. But, really, the need for proof is…hmm, how do I put this? Okay, the need for proof is required only for the person who…no, that doesn’t work.
Meh, whatever. Nevermind. There’s really no way to describe how my mind works.
No, but there are a couple centuries of mythology behind the vampyre, and you can’t just undo them because you want the being to be your way. At the very least, don’t call it a vampyre if it’s not going to follow what a vampyre is.
“I present to you one of my favorite phrases:
Prove it.”
You must be a christian then. Christians love that phrase. And I’ll tell you about vamps the same thing that we say about god. It is the responsibility of the person making the extraordinary claim to prove that claim, as it is impossible to prove the non-existence of something. If I were to say “There is a Flying Spaghetti Monster that created us all (even the midgets)” it would be my responsibility to produce some evidence of that claim. RAmen
And besides, Max Schreck was the “original” cinimatic vampire. And he didn’t “sparkle” or look attractive doing it!
{http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Max_Schreck}
{http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nosferatu}
Max is still the creepiest vampire EVER. The scene where he comes up from the casket in the ship’s hold and the one of him walking through the village with his casket under his arm are both nightmare stuff. No CGI…..just creepy as hell.
Dude, don’t even start a religious debate here. People like you are the reasons these threads blow way out of proportion. Quit generalizing and why don’t you PROVE IT that Christians just love that phrase.
thank you lauren. this isnt a debate on how christians act its a debate upon vampires. what fish meant i believe is that a ‘real vampire’ is based upon the stereotype most people want a vampire to be like. sure no one scratch that the public doesnt know if vampires exist or not. it really is a touchy subject to some but it is still not proven so… someone prove it. there u go. ur “christians love that phrase” for ya right there.
Generalizing is part of human nature. Also, he’s not starting a religious debate, he’s just pointing out that things need to be proven before they can be accepted as true. I have no problem with objecting to certain directions a conversation can take, but please be careful of who you direct these objections at.
“She did real well in both Underworlds and Van Helsing.”
Translation: Graduated top of her special education class.
Just because you don’t like them or the genre doesn’t mean they’re not real books, as opposed to S. Meyer, who writes journal entries about her personal fantasies as a teenager that are completely lacking in plot and character depth and then publishes them as viable stories that disrespect an entire sub-genre of literary work.
Plus, I’d do her.
Hehehe, seeing her do the square chested stance makes me giggle, too.
Real Heroine, you cook it up in a spoon and then shoot it up….
That’d be heroin.
It’s a Quayle Fail!!
want better vampires? tired of twilight crap? watch “Let the right one in”.
Or wait for Daybreakers in 2010.
I agree.
It’s a great movie. Sadly they are going to remake it in the U.S. Isn’t that always the way? It’s going to be crap.
I know, I just don’t get it. Its a perfectly fine movie, its just in Swedish. Lots of movies made good money with subtitles, like Pan’s Labyrinth and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, why not just give it a theatrical release here?
Ah well, they probably wanted to up the budget by 50 million and add tits galore.
Read the book first! The movie’s good but the book is one of the best I’ve read in a long time. Actually the movie was slightly disappointing in that it wasn’t nearly as creepy as the book was.
I agree, but it should be Sigourney Weaver from “Alien,” not this bimbo.
Jealous much.
Ellen Ripley is an Epic Win.
Hmm, I don’t remember any Beckinsale characters that fought bad guys by stripping to their BVDs. I mean, Becks has worn some interesting outfits, but half T-shirt and panties (when Weaver’s figure isn’t her strong suit anyway) hasn’t been one of them thus far…
Ooooh, seriously good point.
(Love “Alien/s”, but I always thought that bit was SOOOOOOO blatant.)
I second this motion.
A real heroine,
Is a woman who can cook, clean, iron,
+1
Whoops, my comment got cut off in middle somehow?
see the other comment below.
Wow, that was funny.
ha
ha
yawn
A real heroine,
Is a woman who can cook, clean, iron and make me a sammich.
A real man can make his own damned sandwich, not to mention spell the word correctly.
(Adds Tally) 27 BABY!
I can cook, clean, iron, and make sammiches … however, I make so damn much money these days I pay someone to do those things.
but who ever said bella was a hero? she’s not supposed to be a hero so u cant really compare her in this
There’s no heroes in Twilight, only a flake female lead and a stalker male lead.
*nods in agreement*
(Adds tally) 28, this is AMAZING.
Too bad that’s one of the worst “stances” you could be in to use a pistol. Oh well, you can’t expect Hollywood to get EVERYTHING right.
You fail.
For knowing how to properly use a pistol in a Weaver stance, which puts the best support on the weapon and also shows the least amount of body area to anyone who may be firing back at you? Fine with me, I’ll “fail” alive.
Moron.
Learn2shoot dummie.
I bet you think rolling on the ground makes you invulnerable too. Gun noob lol.
I think my expert qualification with the Beretta M9 means I’ve already learned to shoot. Showing your entire torso to an adversary provides a larger target than an offset torso. Try drawing it out.
Calling me a gun noob, HA. Learn what the military is about, moron.
Since you’re not smart, I’ll help you out.
Look up Isosceles Stance, noob. I had a link for you but I guess we can’t post stuff with links, so you may have to actually do something on your own. Here’s a hint: azccw and ‘com’, and add a marksmanship after. Learn something!
Also, dumbass, it’s a movie about werewolves and vampires at war and you’re worried about a gun stance? You’re just a wanna-be.
I’m quite familiar with the Isosceles stance, and you can’t deny that the Weaver stance shows a smaller figure to a frontal attacker. But sure, I’m a wanna-be, me and my officer rank in the USAF have no experience with firearms. Oh, and the Security Forces sergeant who was teaching my M9 class, who works at the firing range, yeah, he doesn’t know anything either. Buncha wanna-bes.
And I’m totally warranted in critiquing the mistakes Hollywood makes. The difference is, I do it in jest, whereas you seem to be all sorts of bent out of shape about something. Lighten up, chief, you’ll live longer. That is, unless you get into a firefight.
except – it isn’t a mistake. Its a legit stance that you decided to get all butt hurt about. “oh noez, they used a stance that I don’t, they must be wrong!!”
Just because you learned one stance doesn’t make you an expert. It makes you a wanna-be noob. air force lol.
I’m not saying I am an expert, just that I got an Expert Qualification with the M9. I’m saying that the sergeant who lives and breathes guns that said Weaver > Isosceles is an expert. But you seem content to ignore the fact that HE gave me this information, rather than me coming up with it on my own. And you call me a noob, making fun of my service. What a douche you look like.
We interrupt this pointless argument to say…. Kate Bekinsale is freaking hot.
Ok, carry on.
. . . Isn’t Isosceles a type of triangle?. . .
Well done. You remembered basic geometry.
The isosceles stance is used most often in visual media because it is the most appealing to Hollywood’s standards. Facing the target head-on is bold and heroic. While a Weaver stance is best in practical situations, it may come across as cowardly to the casual viewer.
Jack Bauer always uses the Weaver Stance. And Jack Bauer is a fucking badass.
Kate Beckensale is better looking tho.
That depends on who you ask.
the one that bugs me from movies is that they always hold a rifle/shotgun/sub-machine gun at waist height and still manage to hit all the bad-guys and miss all the goodies
Real wampires don’t wear goth outfits.
another “joke” about twilight. these are getting older than the vampires themselves…
“Real” vampires are actually just pervs.
Pervs FTW!
Ripley > this bitch.
What’s the thing behind her head? She looks like an Andorian.
her antennae.
shhhh
A “real” heroine is um…REAL
As long as Twilight continues being stupid, people will continue mocking it. And it will ALWAYS be stupid.
Whoever mad this gets congratulations for using the right spelling of “heroine”.
Heroin- drug.
Heroine- female hero.
Isn’t it sad we have to point out that someone has spelled something RIGHT on the ‘net?!
Yes. Yes it is.
I made this LOL….and you’re welcome. =)
Thank you
If you wanna see a great example of what a real vampire is like, watch Hellsing or Blood: the last vampire/Blood+
And a real Heroine? watch Resident Evil (the trilogi)
BIG WIN!
Important point being, Beckinsale is utterly no great shakes at acting herself but can still act circles around Kristen Stewart in her damn sleep.
Also, Becks has the most spectacular ass in the universe. ::nod::
What.. so a heroine is an actress then?
Heroine- a woman of distinguished courage or ability, admired for her brave deeds and noble qualities.
Like Paris Hilton and that other chic.
A heroine on heroin?
>.>
I AM SICK OF THIS! Twilight is just a book-turned-movie that caught on with teenage girls. No one’s asking you to rip on it like a bunch of 6 year olds. Now stop moaning about “real” vampires and someone start making “real” lols!
When I glanced at this, it looked like it said: “A SMACK OF THIS!”
Oh shush, go have a coffee and a biscuit
Yeah that was a pretty dumb comment. But I really am sick of the twilight thing. Plus coffee is horrid. Why do so many people drink it?
I dont like coffee either, or tea, and I dont know people enjoy either.
I think partly the reason Twilight is despised so much, especially here, is because it offends something that’s part of the group consciousness. It’s offensive that a woman with such lacklustre writing ability, who did no research and instead based her vampire off of the supposed pop culture and a dream she had about a sparkly prince, has made nearly every single teenage girl more annoying than before. She made stalking and bullying “attractive” in males which sends out the wrong message to millions of girls around the world; so if your boyfriend forces you to do things its ok because he “loves” you. Her vampires are more like power crazed fairies and that doesnt gel well again inside the public consciousness; vampires are dark creatures, or beautiful creatures with angst problems, not sparkly boys. But if you try to point any of this out the fangirls go crazy and scream you’re wrong! You’re wrong! How dare you say such things about Edward! He’s so hawt! Well I dont find him hot, I think he’s a paedophile and a selfish bully, yet that’s the hero for us girls now? No, I dont think so.
What a lovely analysis! Quite unfortunately, I haven’t bothered looking that far into it. All I have to say is that Edward is pretty creepy. And people on this site have fully established that he does, in fact, sparkle. So now they can stop.
Nah, we don’t stop til Meyer does. And there’s more of us against one of her.
No, Mr. Crocker, we will not leave Britney alone.
*gives blarg a high five*
I don’t get it.
change twit to talentless twat and its perfect
a real heroine wouldn´t give a crap about something like sparkles. get over it, you loser.
I’m sure Hermione Granger would think they were pretty stupid.
I dunno. I saw Kate Beckinsale at San Diego Comic Con when “Van Helsing” came out and she came across pretty damned vacuous, whining on and on about the heat.
Real vampire is Ultraviolet. Case closed. Lets see this chick jump thru a helicopter off the side of a building on a motorcycle firing with both hands and hardly have a scratch. THAT is made of awesome.
Ultraviolet should never be mentioned in comparison to anything unless it is – “Well, it’s not as bad as Ultraviolet!”
Real heroine…..Hmmm let’s seeeee……..Amelia Earhart…..Eleanor Roosevelt…..Georgia O’Keith……Sandra Day O’Connor……Frieda Kahlo……Elizabeth 1……The Amazons. Those sounded about right. Not defined by gun stance, sparkle love, butt or boob size. Those definitions of a heroine, in their selves are untrue and slightly chauvanistic. This come to you through the eyes of a woman. Be nice.
But I’m a woman and I love guns, boobs, and asses!
Amelia Earhart is a heroine??
Yeah, took real courage to fly off and get lost somewhere. I that the state of feminism now – where failure is considered courageous?
She was the first woman to cross the Atlantic, set many other records, and was a best selling author. She also got sick while working as a nurse during the Spanish flu pandemic, which yes was a brave thing to do. Even though yes she did disappear and die during her attempt to fly across the world, it was hardly the only thing she’s ever done worth noting.
Who says she died? O_o
Thats not kristen stewart
While I’m digging the Twilight put down I feel it necessary to point out that Underworld was a truly terrible movie as well.
Hey idiots, how about this: real heroines aren’t fictional movie characters. Get a life.
Toooootally agreed!!
*droooooolls*
>.> Yeah, so what is Bella is clumsy and can’t do stuff? Nothing wrong with that, you don’t do anything and you were clumsy at one point of your life. I like underworld, but Bella isn’t a twit. Like a lot of other people said, all herions don’t HAVE to be like her. ^^
She is a complete and total twit who has no personality and can’t do ANYTHING for herself.
There are OTHER unintelligent ‘heroines’ out there besides Bella, you know.
i loved Kate Beckinsale’s character in this movie, definitely one of my fave heroines of all time <3
Ah bliss. I have found another intelligent person. There is also Maximum Ride. And more. That I won’t name.
not exactly a ‘real’ heroine, but makes for a hell of a film if you cut out the needless shots down their top.
A real heroine isn’t a bloodsucking monster, probably the descendant of a leech, who also happens to be practically immortal… in the context of the movie of course. Also, I don’t think real heroines use that much latex, that’s whores who wear that… not that some whores can’t be real heroines, but in that case circumstances change…