NOW THIS
NOW THIS, IS WHAT WE ALL WANTED TO SEE
(Wesley Snipes, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart)
Picture by: dunno source. Caption by: dunno source via Our LOL Builder
You May Like:
« Previous You would wear protection too | Normally it is wrong Next »
» 254 Comments
-
'Razzi Sez:
kidstuff on Wait? Vampires are supposed to… Marilyn on Are you sure it’s still… Bix Nood on And women wore panties .. Jordy on YOU FAILED AS PARENTS Somepartsareme on Vampire Weekend (See What I Di… ay dios mio on Vampire Weekend (See What I Di… ay dios mio on Vampire Weekend (See What I Di… U-no-poo on Note to self: Somepartsareme on She’s almost lifeli… delta2kbr on Crazy wears a smile 
Cheezburger Network Blog-
Thank God for Photoshop–this is the best laugh I’ve had all day!
Oh, yeah…guess I’ve gotta do the obligatory “First”…
Idiot is a word derived from the Greek ἰδιώτης, idiōtēs (“person lacking professional skill,” “a private citizen,” “individual”), from ἴδιος, idios (“private,” “one’s own”).[1] In Latin the word idiota (“ordinary person, layman”) preceded the Late Latin meaning “uneducated or ignorant person.”[2] Its modern meaning and form dates back to Middle English around the year 1300, from the Old French idiote (“uneducated or ignorant person”). The related word idiocy dates to 1487 and may have been analogously modeled on the words prophet[3] and prophecy.[4][5] The word has cognates in many other languages.
“Idiot” was originally created to refer to “layman, person lacking professional skill”, “person so mentally deficient as to be incapable of ordinary reasoning”.[6][7] Declining to take part in public life, such as democratic government of the polis (city state), such as the Athenian democracy, was considered dishonorable. “Idiots” were seen as having bad judgment in public and political matters. Over time, the term “idiot” shifted away from its original connotation of selfishness and came to refer to individuals with overall bad judgment–individuals who are “stupid”. In modern English usage, the terms “idiot” and “idiocy” describe an extreme folly or stupidity, and its symptoms (foolish or stupid utterance or deed). In psychology, it is a historical term for the state or condition now called profound mental retardation.[8]
In 19th and early 20th century medicine and psychology, an “idiot” was a person with a very severe mental retardation. In the early 1900s, Dr. Henry H. Goddard proposed a classification system for mental retardation based on the Binet-Simon concept of mental age. Individuals with the lowest mental age level (less than three years) were identified as idiots; imbiciles had a mental age of three to 7 years., and morons had a mental age of seven to ten years.[9] IQ, or intelligence quotient, is determined by dividing a person’s mental age, as determined by standardized tests, by chronological age. The term “idiot” is sometimes used to refer to people having an IQ below 30.[10][11]
In current medical classification, these people are now said to have profound mental retardation, and the word “idiot” is no longer used as a scientific term.[citation needed]
Until 2007, the California Penal Code Section 26 stated that “Idiots” were one of six types of people who are not capable of committing crimes. In 2007 the code was amended to read “persons who are mentally incapacitated.”[12] In 2008, Iowa voters passed a measure replacing “idiot, or insane person” in the State’s constitution with “person adjudged mentally incompetent.”[13]
In several states, “idiots” do not have the right to vote:
* Arkansas Article III, Section 5[14]
* Kentucky Section 145[15]
* Mississippi Article 12, Section 241[16]
* New Mexico Article VII, section 1[17]
* Ohio (Article V, Section 6)[18]
A few authors have used “idiot” characters in novels, plays and poetry. Often these characters are used to highlight or indicate something else (allegory). Examples of such usage are William Faulkner’s The Sound and the Fury and William Wordsworth’s The Idiot Boy. Idiot characters in literature are often confused with or subsumed within mad or lunatic characters. The most common imbrication between these two categories of mental impairment occurs in the polemic surrounding Edmund from William Shakespeare’s King Lear. In Fyodor Dostoevsky’s novel The Idiot, the idiocy of the main character, Prince Lev Nikolaievich Myshkin, is attributed more to his honesty, trustfulness, kindness, and humility, than to a lack of intellectual ability. Nietzsche claimed, in his The Antichrist, that Jesus was an idiot. This resulted from his description of Jesus as having an aversion toward the material world.[19]
… so you’re saying you’re an idiot?
this is so wikipedia (ordial poster’s comment)
Wikipedia WINS.
I don’t get it, other than how he looks, Edward is almost 100 years old falling in love with a 17 year old. I don’t care how you dumb it down, that’s nasty.
actually he’s 108, and yeah it is nasty
PEDO SPARKLY VAMPIRE!
Oh Thank Godlessness someone has figured it out
if he’d just bite her head off already it’d be better
super cool story bro !!
what the HELL!? his post doesn’t even contain the word idiot
Relevance fail!
He was calling mew2 an idiot
God, what is with people! I’m a girl!
Anyone who posts “first!” gets a lengthy lecture on something that has nothing to do with the caption. That’s the rule.
And yes, I know I spelled “Ordinal” wrong.
I know whats with the lecture?X(
Ordinal Post rule.
Why not just ignore them? Instead of doing something that is (quite frankly) even more twatty than just posting “first”?
Photoshop WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There’s nothing obligatory about claiming first comment. Please feel free to consider the “first” comment as optional, and irritating.
Lmao, kill him!!!!!!! >.<
Yeah – I don’t like Wesley Snipes either. And I think Bella can take him without breaking a sweat.
I hate to sound stupid but I don’t get it. Can someone explain?
We’re hoping the big shady guy will murder the other two. *fingerscrossed*
The character photoshopped into the background is Blade (played by Wesley Snipes) a Vampire hunter. The male in the foreground is the main ’sparkly’ vamp from the movie Twilight.
As stated by DbT, the hope is that Blade will off ephebophile.
Blade is also a half-human half-vampire. He can walk during the day unlike REAL vampires and doesn’t *sparkle*.
Does he…SHIMMER?!
No. He kicks ass.
… “REAL vampires”?
Yeah – you know – the kind you see walking around every day, rather than the ones made up for movies/books/comics/etc.
They are called…. Lawyers. XD
no he doesn’t. blade just has a certain ‘badassery’ quality on him that makes gay sparkly vamps spontaneously explode.
Il like this guy wa more than the “sparkly one”
He might – if you apply baby oil to him…
only creepy men sparkle ! except for David Bowie he ha a right to sparkle!;) and he’s not creepy!
AMEN!
Yea srsly, Amen to that. David Bowie is “amazazing” :3
“Unlike REAL vampires”? Dracula’s not a real vampire now?
he said “unlike” , cause Dracula can’t walk during the day .
Gaaaargh.
No. Wrong. Wrong.
Well, he can walk during the day. Just not in the sunlight. (Dracula)
None of them are real vampires because VAMPIRES AREN’T REAL! Sheesh!
Sure, thanks for ruining the fun for us.
are you kidding me I saw blade at a blade movie premier ::rolls eyes::
True, but it is a fairly well-established and noted fantasy sub-genre that Stephanie Meyer managed to completely disrespect and try to reinvent to fit her own purposes. If she wants a fantasy species but doesn’t want the ones already available, she should make up her goddamned own.
Oh for the love of god. Get over yourself already. There are a fair number of people out there who would say that, given the entire wealth of history and legends surrounding vampires, Bram Stoker should have his cock kicked off for what he did with Dracula. Just cause he got there first doesn’t make him right, you know.
Come back in 80 years or so, and see if people are still reading Stephanie Meyer. If and only if they are, then you may have a point.
People are still reading The Bible. Multiple versions of The Bible, in fact. People are still reading The Koran. Just cause something’s popular doesn’t make it right either.
PLUS VAMPIRES ARE NOT REAL. Are you so bloody petty you have to say “Your version of something that isn’t real is less real than my version of something that isn’t real”?? Do you not have anything better to do with your misbegotten life than that?
Get a grip.
Uh…are you implying that Twilight is a holy book that will be read for hundreds of years? If you are, you’re very stupid.
Yeah, boo to Bram Stocker for taking a mediocre play and turning it into something that became legendary. He popularized aristocratic, intelligent vampires, so vampires weren’t simply unbaptized blood sucking zombies that Christians used to scare people into converting. I’d rather we had no vampire literature at all, seeing as thats pretty much what would happen if Dracula was never written.
I’m sure people would say that Mario Puzo did the same for Mafia related fiction. But that still doesn’t mean he is the only one who ever gets to write it, and that no-one else should be allowed to write their own interpretation of it, does it?
Or are you a fascist as well as a twat?
I never suggested such a thing, its just hard to criticize the book that really got the ball rolling, isn’t it? And most Twilight threads I comment on I recommend Let The Right One In, one of the most amazing vampire novels written in a long time which strikes a wonderful balance between the vampire as a monster and the vampire as a misfit. We have plenty of vampire literature with different interpretations, although nearly all of them depend on Stoker’s vampire (smart, beautiful, aristocratic), the key difference is that vampires are now more sympathetic whereas Dracula was a monster. Its all been done before (vampire romance novels are popular, I know Dark Gold was a lot like Twilight, only with sex), and done much better (even Dark Gold, and I rate that as one of the worst books I’ve ever read). My distaste for Twilight is that its run of the mill and its poorly written unoriginal sexist trite, and while bad vampire literature existed before it just drags the genre down to a new level. We were having a good time when our biggest argument was whether Anne Rice novels were crap or not, its sad that there now exists a series that even she can look down on. Fans of “actual” vampires are simply just vampire fans who don’t want to be associated with Twilight for obvious reasons.
agreed x1000.
Twilight is meant for tweens who have never heard of Dracula.. and they can have it.
with it’s “sparkly” vampires and lame ass dialogue/actors/etc.
Well dracular on the third blade film is pretty badass and CAN walk in sunlight.
actually dracula was NOT a vampire, he was a really really cruel Baron/nobleman, who used to stick his soliders with a spear all the way through their bodies in his front lawn. he was a sick person, liked blood shed, not nice person really
heres the real dracula: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vlad_III_Dracula
Thats the historical Dracula, we’re talking about the literary Dracula. And don’t forget they dug up his grave and it was empty *cue Twilight Zone music*
Actually, he protected his own people to the point that he’s now a folk hero in Romania.
He was severe about punishing invaders and criminals, but if you were innocent you had nothing to worry about. He didn’t impale his own soldiers; he did impale the Turks who continuously tried to take over his country, though.
There are a lot of stories about how “evil” he was, but they’re mostly just folktales.
(end historical rant)
Dracula never sparkled.
seems like edward can also walk during the day… does that mean he’s half human too? good job photoshoping!
That means he’s half douchebag.
win
win
Epic WIN!
Like Renesme ?
No. Nothing like Renesmee. Renesmee is a baby who is a spawn of Edward Cullen and Bella Swan and is therefore bade of FAIL.
actually it doesn’t really make much sense, Blade has no reason to hunt Edward because Edward doesn’t kill humans. And according to each of the two’s stories I would think that Edward would still prevail.
Maybe Blade likes how Bella smells too. . . .
Edward beat blade!? HA! that’s the best laugh I’ve had (better than the etymology of idiot).
God, I hate you already.
*gasp* oh no, some nameless faceless internet moron doesn’t like me. Too bad I have too many real friends to care.
Yeah, right.
If you didn’t care you wouldn’t have replied EPIC FAIL
Wow, you sound like my ex-girlfriend after she read that series.
Go die in a ditch.
like I really believe that you ever had a girlfriend
I’m guessing that wasn’t one of your more successful relationships…
Blade was out to kill every vampire, was he not? I thought that was the plot for Blade III.
Who cares? We all just want Blade to get rid of the ‘Twilight’ trash. Period.
Blade hunts and kills vampires. He didn’t care whether or not they killed humans. his sole purpose is the eradication of vampires.
and Edward wouldn’t have a chance to kill Blade.
he knows the kung foo. among others
Uh oh! You’d better brace yourselves for the onslaught of “zOMG i luvv twilight this is so mean I <3 EDWARD!!!" posts that are going to hit this page like an oncoming train!
lmao Blade will get them too, hopefully.
EPIC WIN for this pic
But…what if you didn’t cheer Blade on during his movie? I always rooted for the vampires…Now this is leaving me confused, my head might explode o.O
if only …would make for a better movie sparkly douche and wanna be sparkly douchette get pwned by blade =P what a story =]
This photoshop job makes my head want to explode.
Congratulations. A way to make Twilight even worse.
ZOMG, I love Twilight! This is so mean! I love Edward!!!
Wesley, do it, do it now!
I so admire the Twilight haters, those who strive to be “different” thereby rejecting whatever is popular simply because it is popular. Really, it is an amazing trait, for douchebags. Seriously, read the mother-effin novel or leave it alone. Making fun of something just because it is a pop-culture phenomenon, or to prove how “above” everyone else you are doesn’t make you funny, it makes you an insufferable a**hole. That said, it is a pretty impressive use of photo-shop.
I admire the Twilighters. Those who strive to stay in the flow of the media and not get left behind for the next trend, be it the Jonas Brothers or plastic Crocs. Seriously, we don’t reject it because it’s popular. We reject it because it is literary garbage. It was so poorly written that I nearly gouged my eyes out after reading Twilight. And, yes, I DID read Twilight. And New Moon. And Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn, and The Host AND half of Midnight Sun. And I STILL don’t understand what all the hype was about. A “Pop-culture phenomenon”? I heard that on a Twilight trailer once. In reality, these two [in the picture, Rob and Kristen] and their “acting talent” [or lack thereof] were really the cherry on top of a pop-culture disaster. As long as Twilight exists, it will be stupid. As long as it is stupid, people will continue to mock it. So, if you want to put a permanent end to Twilight [and do humanity a favor], these LOLs will *disappear*!
hey man… don’t dis the crocs. Bff of the working gal.
Ahaha, I hate those! There are so many comfortable and sane-looking shoes out there!
A long time ago I saw in the newspaper that nurses who wore crocs were creating static electricity which made the life support machines to fail and patients got killed. I think they’re banned from hospitals now.(at least where I live)
They are not allowed to be worn in hospitals b/c of the holes in the top of them can allow blood and other body fluids in. Its a Joint Commission rule that regulates hospitals.
Please, help me burn up every existing copy of that series. I didn’t believe that any intellectual idea should be destroyed like that until I read this series.
After that, will you marry me?
I’d love to help you end the series and do humanity a favor. As for the second part… :/
I’m a bit of a minor, myself…. O_o
I am sorry you hate the Twilight haters. I don’t hate it because it’s popular. I tried to watch it. I really tried to give it a chance. But it failed for me. It both sucked and blew at the same time. It is pretentious Emo-trash and the only thing that would improve it is writing Blade into the script and offing the lot in the first episode.
Please note that I am saying nothing about the book. I don’t have a problem with the book, just the show on T.V.
By the way, calling people names just because they don’t like what you like is a VERY childish way to behave.
…You obviously didn’t. Twilight isn’t a TV show. There are no episodes.
lmao failblog response Taco :O
Seriously, though I read the first few books, didn’t like them. Bad story, sorry to break it to you twilighters.
I am “different”, but I hate Twilight because it’s a horribly written piece of (rap trying to pass itself off as YA “literature”.
Slay their sparkly a$$es, Blade!!
I find the Twilight fans in my work to be insufferable a**holes because of their constant OMG!!!! EDWARD SO HAWTT!!! HOW DARE YOU NOT LIKE IT!!!! IT’S SO AWESOME!!!!! THIS IS TOTALLY THE WAY VAMPIRES ARE GOING TO BE NOW! THEY’RE JUST SO HAWT AND CHRISTOPHER LEE IS JUST SO STUPID AND LAME!!!!!
I once had a Twilight fangirl at work try to call me out because I said I found the books to be trite, that the characters, plot, setting and dialogue were painfully bad. I told her to get over herself and accept the fact Edward is a paedophile, a stalker and a selfish bully, not the world’s next romantic hero.
So… I think I’m within my rights to make fun of it all I want. Freedom of Speech you see…
A fangirl growled at me once. True story.
They’re actually more vicious and evil than the vampires themselves dont you think?
Even more so, considering the vampires aren’t real and refuse to hurt people. My friend says one bit her at Hot Topic once. I wouldn’t put it past them. I know a dude who works there and he says he stayed home “sick” the week of the movie premier. girls come in “SQUEE”ing and stay for hours on end.
Oh that would have been really unbearable. I keep seeing girls with t-shirts saying Team Edward or Jacob and I’m dreading the next film. Eww… eww. I said it again, eww
I keep seeing girls reading the books! I want to rip them out of their hands and scream “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”
I saw a grown woman reading them the other day. I wanted to tell her to stop being pervy and read something for her own age group
I saw a cougar reading them at the ski lodge. She was eating with her family, and when her family left to go skiing, she said “Go ahead without me. I’m reading.” Lady! You’re at a ski resort! You wanna read? Wait until you’re HOME!
Many of 40-something female coworkers LOVE LOVE LOVE them. I want to go all Buffy on them!
I saw a grown man in a business suit reading Twilight during his lunch break. It made me want to cry. I pray he did it for a dare.
a fangirl was an idiot one time. True story.
No!! I find that extremely hard to believe. You MUST be exaggerating!
Yeah, that’s a lie! It was definitely more than once.
And more like “A fangirl was a raving lunatic one time. True story.”
Look:
http://twilightsucks.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=fangirls&action=display&thread=5175&page=1
not only a raving lunatic….
Those screaming, hissing, and bitting fangirls are so annoying.
Twilight was better before it became a huge phenomenon and before the fangirls. When the books came out, they were guilty-pleasure books for people who wanted to read about teenage love and escape from reality for a while while reading a book that was similar to something that an average teenager would write. As I have found, the original fans (including myself) of the books will admit that it’s not the best writing style nor the best story nor the best characterizations but we weren’t reading it for that (a lot of us read it because it was easier than the stuff we were having jammed down our throats in school..we needed a break) and wouldn’t dare call it the best book ever written. Some of us even didn’t mind the sparkling (I simply found it amusing) because Stephenie Meyer had explained that most of the books were based on dreams she had had and they happened to sparkle (and I doubt it was the crappy glowing they did in the movie).
Then the fangirls came because MTV said “hey this book is addictive, go read it.” At first I was glad that more of my peers were actually reading anything outside of a magazine but then they started fantasizing about Edward being the perfect boyfriend and started drooling over Taylor and Robert. Then I saw the movie and saw how they turned the book into a crappy script (seriously, I’ve seen many of these actors in other movies where they acted wonderfuly; I’m convinced that part of the horrid acting actually has basis in the horrid script) and then people stopped even mentioning the actors’ other movies (like Nikki Reed in “Thirteen” and Kristen Stewart in “Speak”)(well except Robert in “Harry Potter”…that’s getting old too) and started praising or hating them based on the Twilight movie. And now, the movies are becoming more overdramatic and sensationalized to fit the dreams of the fangirls. It’s getting really annoying and I am actually considering giving away my copies of the books.
Twilight really used to be less annoying. Not much better, but still not as annoying.
I respect this a little bit. More power to you sir.
High five. That answer was EPIC WIN.
By pop-culture phenomenon do you mean the masses desperately looking for the next “Harry Potter” and Twilight is the best they found?
I have read the novels. And seen the movie. It is a nice fantasy for the adolescent high school girls to giggle over and dream about, but to try to pass them off as real literature (as most of the fans do) is a joke.
And the acting in the movie is actually quite painful to watch…
P.S. Vampires are just not meant to sparkle honey.
Its not a phenomenon its a disease that needs to be eradicated blade will do good work in this pic.
Well put.
Now, let’s slay these creepy wienies.
Yes. People who read Twilight usually refuse to read anything else.
I’ve read it. I also read Tolkien, which actually is good literature unlike Twilight. I find myself cheering for Blade in this pic because I loathe Edward Cullen with a passion. Go ahead, Blade, stake him! That said, I have to disagree with some of the sentiment here. I’m highly in favor of books that get people to read regardless of whether or not I like them for myself.
I don’t mean everyone who reads Twilight, I mean the twelve year-old girls who, normally, don’t read ANYTHING. Someone will recommend a book to them, and it’s, “No! I’m reading Twilight for the quadrillionth time! Ask again when the series has lost it’s popularity and appeal and I have forgotten that it ever existed.”
I find the ones my age (early 40s) that act like they’re 12 to be far more annoying than the actual 12 year olds, really. *shudders*
Sadly, most of the newer fans (basically anyone who didn’t read the books until the movie deal was announced) don’t read anything else. But they also tend to be the ones who never read anything before the movie began being produced. I’m torn because I like the fact that they are reading something other than People magazine but I wish they would move on to another book!
I actually have a friend who would complain about not having anything to read, and when we would suggest a new book or series, she would say that she was rereading “Breaking Dawn” for the 5th time. We finally got her to read another series but only after drawing up comparisons between it and Twilight, which was like pulling teeth because they are actually very different series.
i hat eit bcause they hate it.
and i hate most things nowadays…
I <3 TO H8!
I read the mother-effin novel(s) and for that reason, I will never see the mother-effin movie. Never.
And I have purchased enough pairs of Crocs to last me until I die. I shall walk all sparkly and undead with comfy, happy feet.
by hating twilight i am not striving to be different infact i feel as if i am part of a very large comunity.
it also infact seems as if this is part of the gender war, no self respecting man would do any less than find twighlight incredibly boring
LOL its not entirely a gender war. I’m a 23 year old female and I despise Twilight and its fangirls. Its more a war on annoying teenage girls that think too much of it and older women who should really know better cooing over the books
Claire darling, we are kindred spirits.
I am 24, my best friend is 30 and absolutely GAGA over this crap. I have to look at her, shake my head, and re-think our friendship.
It seems that we are kindred spirits. My friend is equally besotted with Edward, although she thought the film was stupid, she said they didnt say the lines with enough honesty. I thought it was cheesy and bad acted. My work is filled with these giggling teenagers; I want to cry.
Why fancy a vampire boy when you can have a real man? With stubble and aftershave and business suits, that plays sports at the weekends, drinks too much his mates, needs help with absolutely everything but still adores you with everything he is? That’s the guy I want, not some fantasy teenager.
Hrm.
I’m 16 and so far I’ve only got the stubble, occasional aftershave, sports, and needs help with everything but adores bit down.
Tips?
And if I can understand why Edward is so upset about what a monster he is though. If I was as big a douche as he is, I’d have up and offed myself long ago.
LOL you are too young.
Pahahaa! You’re great!
*Sigh* I personally know about a handful of 30+ age women who love Twilight all because of their preteen kids (whom personally have no idea what romance even is) cooing over it like maniacal doves. Everytime I hear them talk about it I want to beat my head in on the walls.
I hate it, being 17 its always in my face, even when I think I’m safe from it, Twilight keeps rising back up from the dead like the sparkly dorks that populate its books.
WHEN WILL THE FAD END?!
I’m fourteen and it’s in my face constantly! Especially since I’m the type of person who SHOULD like it! I’m fourteen, I go to a school full of airheads, I love fantasy, things that sparkle, my friends [and I] are freaks, and we shop at Hot Topic [for the band tees!] Even my TEACHERS read it!!
Odd you would call this about a gender war, lots of feminists and women in general are pissed about the misogyny present in the Twilight books. I do believe its popular fodder for Bitch magazine to write actually really interesting essays on all the ways Twilight is so wrong, for example.
I remember when I saw twilight… I was completely unaware that it was a book, never saw a preview for it, nothing. Just got bored and looked on Fandango to see what was playing at the local cinema. I saw the word “Vampire” and was sold. I mean what kind of vampire movie isn’t badass? Well, needless to say I found the single most pathetic excuse for a vampire movie… ever. EDWARD SPARKLES. Now tell me that isn’t the gayest/lamest vampire crap you have ever seen? Honestly, that movie would have been passed over as high-school gossip girl love story, but the made EDWARD SPARKLE. And thus is the reason that I, and the millions of others out there, hate Twilight.
Please read the above information regarding the term “Idiot.” Thanks.
Win.
After finally actually reading these books, I would have to say that they are decent. Remember the genre people, teen romance, don’t try to compare it to real literature because its a teen romance novel!
I also have to say this photoshop is well done.
Still doesn’t work, even teen romance needs to give a little bit of smut, instead of, you know, abstinence porn.
Its also reaaaaaaaally weird how Twilight yaoi fan fiction is actually much better XD
Meyer is Mormon, of course there’s no smut! She wouldn’t want to corrupt lots of littl girls…
And for cheesy books fan fic is often better, it is quite sad when tween/teenager’s can write better than a published author though.
No, she doesnt want to corrupt lots of little girls, but she wants them to think it’s ok for their boyfriends to be stalkers, paedophiles, abusive and selfish bullies because they “love” them.
I think I would prefer my daughter read smut than be influenced by those messages.
What I don’t understand is why we get a play-by-play of Bella’s bloody and violent birthing scene, but we’re not mature enough for a sex scene? Come ON! If I had to put up with the first three books of the series, you could at least show me some thanks! The cake was a lie!!
We’re not striving to be different by hating what’s popular, you twat. We’re simply hating the mindless stupidity that is Twilight. And I did read the book, actually. All four of them SUCKED.
I don’t care about things that are “popular.” I don’t strive to be different – I could care less if anyone else likes the same music, movies, books or hobbies I enjoy. I’m too old to worry about fitting in with the trendy kids or the misfits, anyway.
No, my reason for not liking the ‘Twilight’ series is because I’m a writer, and the book is badly written.
I don’t care about the way Meyer recreated the idea of vampires. I’ve read the books, and my primary criticisms are 1) the fact that the main characters are classic Mary Sues, 2) the overuse of unnecessary descriptors, and 3) the fact that Meyer makes every mistake that any professional author would know to avoid.
Her books, especially the first one, read exactly like a fanfic written by a 12-15 year old with no concept of how love or healthy relationships work.
Granted, the concept is actually decent. Had she taken some writing courses, learned to refine her story from outline to final draft, and replaced the unnecessary and excruciating description about every single eyelash with actual plot development, it would have been much better.
Before the rabid fans lash out, I’m only criticizing the amateurish writing mistakes. The story itself, as well as its popularity, is not the problem. Good idea, bad execution. Meyer needs practice, and perhaps a few writing lessons, and she could potentially be a great author.
You are amazing-sauce, my friend. :3
Being sparkly makes you a better target.
HA!! Brilliant & funny because it’s true!
Hugh Jackman would know!
This is what i want twilight 3 to be about Tvb (twilight vs. blade) id pay money to see that and to all you twilight lovers and blade haters blade is a way more accurate portrayal of a vampire not a little bitch vampire that loves some chick. wesley kill those sparkling bitches
accurate?
Now this would be the vampire movie to see!
Love it! Actually, if anybody can photoshop it so that Edward’s stupid sparkly head has been severed from his body I would be even happier. I would be first in line to see THAT movie.
This is fantastic. I would watch this over and over again. Yo, Blade! He’s over here!
*sigh* why even try?
I dunno. Why do you?
Yay! Kill them! Kill the whole elven fairy sparkly brood! KILL THEM ALL! WIPE THEM OUT! THEN GO FIND MEYER AND GET HER TOO!!!!!!
Oops went too far maybe. Though… is it really? Yes I know, I fail.
You know, I probably would never have even heard of Twilight if not for ROFLrazzi. Thank you for putting this brain turd of a bunch of movies into my brain so I can avoid it like the plague.
Looking at this in a completely objective sense it’s hard to imagine Blade killing a Twilight Vampire.
What I mean to say is that if you accept the reality that Blade exists in and, the one that Edward Cullen lives in, Blade has no weapons that can harm Edward and is not physically strong enough to kill him. Silver doesn’t affect Twilight vampires so Blades sword would break. For all their sparkles the Twilight vampires are pretty B-A…
Way to kill the humor, my sadistic friend. Anyway, if the universe was fair, Twilight would have never started. And fail for knowing all that [the Twilight half, that is].
silver affects werewolves NOT vampires, vampires can be killed from a stab to the heart, which blade’s sword would be able to achieve
First… in the Blade universe vampires are allergic to silver and silver weapons can kill them very easily.
Secondly… in the Twilight universe vampires can’t be killed with a stab to the heart. Their skin is harder than the metal the sword is made of and even if their heart could be pierced nothing would happen.
While Blade’s weapons can’t actually harm Edward, they CAN harm Bella. And Edward refuses to live in a world where Bella doesn’t exist. So… if he were just to off Bella, Edward would off himself, thus Blade would indirectly “kill” Edward.
True… But if you figure in the fact the Edward can read the mind of anyone execpt for Bella, and this ability works within a radius of a few miles, Edward would know Blades intentions long before Blade got close enough to kill Bella and then Edward would kill Blade. Maybe Blade could pull it off if Edward couldn’t read minds but with that ability the odds are stacked against the Daywalker.
Edward can’t read Bella’s mind because she doesn’t actually HAVE one.
A common statement. Would you mind explaining why you believe that?
“[She] Moans that she’s very plain looking, yet, inexplicably, most of the male cast of the series thinks she’s ever so beautiful. After all, that’s what the name means; “beautiful swan.” Snails on drugs have clearer thought processes than Ms. Swan, who manipulates her friends and family in order to get closer to the ONE THING she wants in her life, Edward. Bella’s seventeen and has no desire to do anything with her life besides be with him. No college, no job, no anything. She’s also willing to give up living to be one of the hawt vampires. Isn’t this a lovely message to send your kiddies? “Being undead is better than being alive and human in every single way, and everyone will like you better because you’re graceful and beautiful?” Let’s not forget how Edward is abusive to her and she LIKES it. He comes to watch her sleep before she even knows she likes him and she is flattered. He batters her during sex and she’s totally cool with it. He screws with her mind in New Moon by making everything he gave her disappear and just dropping her after she hyperventilates at the mere thought of him disappearing. It’s abuse. Twilight romantifies abuse and sends the message that all that’s important in life is twoo wuv. And one more thing on the subject of Bella… Edward can’t read Bella’s mind because she doesn’t HAVE one.” -Sarah, TLL.
Wow thank you Sarah for your very thorough response. It seems like you know a good deal about the series. I wonder, did you read it or research it? You made some very good points and I’d like you to consider my opinions if that’s ok.
In responding to your first point I’d like to begin by acknowledging how odd it might seem for a 21 year old guy to try and tell a woman something about women. That said I do know a few things. In my life I have actually met at least one beautiful woman who doesn’t know that she’s beautiful. It would be naive to think that there aren’t more women out there with the same mindset. In today’s culture I believe we’re seeing it more everyday unfortunately. That said Bella seems to be one of those girls. And her name was given to her before she developed into a beautiful girl so it holds no relevance.
About Bella manipulating her friends and family. I don’t feel that she steps outside the bounds of how normal teenagers “manipulate” the people in their lives to get what they want, especially when love is involved. The out of the ordinary stuff can be merited to the fact the Bella’s life is not ordinary, it involves vampires she loves, werewolves who love her, and vampires who want to kill her. It’s important to understand that this is a work of fiction and deals with elements of fantasy.
For the third point which addresses how Bella has no aspirations in life than to be with Edward. Take into consideration that she is 17 in twilight as you pointed out. This fact alone paired with the fact that she is in love with an immortal being should shed light on her lack of ambition. She’s a young girl in love and she fully expects to be an immortal after graduation. She will have plenty of time for college and other aspects of life if she expects to live forever.
This leads me to your next point about her motives for becoming a vampire. This is why I wonder if you read the books. From my interpretation of what I read, (which should be pretty accurate since Meyers doesn’t really mask anything in her text), Bella looks forward to being a vampire for a few reasons. She wants to be strong, but only so her protection isn’t a burden to her vampire family. She wants to be beautiful, but only because she feels she isn’t good enough for Edward and wants to be beautiful for him. (Again with the skewed self image. Again.. not uncommon among women.) Her driving force behind wanting to be a vampire however is so that she can be with Edward, the man she loves, forever. She doesn’t want to grow old while he stays 17. These are not bad reasons to want to be a vampire and are not the reasons you claimed.
The issue of Edwards abuse is a tough subject. I agree with you that in some cases Edward’s treatment of Bella is not the way a man should treat the woman he loves. I would never treat my wife the way Edward sometimes treats Bella. Alternately I dislike the way that Bella idolizes Edward and would be content with him walking all over her if it came to that. It’s unhealthy.
That said I’ve looked at this situation objectively and noticed one thing that may be redeeming. First Edward is a vampire and has been for almost 100 years. He was a 17 year old boy 80 some odd years ago. His understanding of how to treat a woman may have been weak before he was a vampire but for sure has diminished in 80 years. I believe that Edward genuinely wants the best for Bella and doesn’t have any idea that his treatment of her can be seen as abusive. he would never willingly hurt her and in fact does everything he can to to keep her out of harm. Bella loves Edward in a powerful way and is willing to look past certain things. This may not be the best behavior but honestly its not uncommon and it doesn’t follow that Bella has no mind.
About the rough sex. Edward didn’t want to have make love to Bella before she was a vampire because he thought he might kill her. Ever accidentally been to rough with a small child or animal? Ever broken an eggshell when making Easter eggs? Thrown a tennis ball over someone’s head instead of to them? Edward is strong enough to throw cars around. It takes a lot of concentration for him to be gentle with his surroundings and function at a human strength. You know what else takes a lot of concentration? Sex. Especially the first time. So when Edward “batters her during sex” He didn’t mean to.. He tired hard not to and is lucky that he didn’t seriously harm her or kill her. He never would have done it if she didn’t make him promise to.
When Edward left in New Moon it was a stupid move. The thing is Edward didn’t know that. He honestly thought he was doing the right thing, “Another one of those vampire for 80 years things.” No relationship is perfect. There is no perfect man. We are all flawed in some way or another. Bella and Edward love eachother and are able to get past the events of New Moon.
Thanks again for the response.
All good points, but I stand by my opinion that Bella [and all of the rest of the Twilight characters] is completely flat and basically a self-insert of Stephenie Meyer. She also has no personality. At all. And neither does Edward. Alice and Jacob are pretty much the only characters with the slightest hint of a personality. And, by the way, I’m not Sarah. I’m Annie. Sarah posted this [and quite a lot more] on a TLL a while back and I dunno if I could have said it better myself.
Well thank you Annie for playing nice. As a result I can fully respect your opinion.
Anytime. *bows*
In the Anita Blake world, vampires are also affected by silver. So there actually might be some legends out there that involve vampires being allergic to silver that just aren’t as popular as the legends that spawned Dracula.
Many of the early legends about vampires do, in fact, describe them as being vulnerable to silver… even some of the old Dracula iterations.
I never understood why the Twilight vampires were completely indestructible. That seems a bit too godlike, I think… but it’s her story, and the Twilight universe runs on her rules.
thats actually a good point for why most intelligent people hate twilight.
The character has no flaws, and yet is described like a well fed crack addict.
Wonder what would happen if they were starved?
And yeah, skin like stone just reminds me of the trolls from The Hobbit.
I agree that Twilight vampires’ lack of flaws is an issue. Would it be better if they were less invulnerable? Maybe.
The truth is however that the Twilight saga is a love story. Stephanie Meyer never claimed to be keeping her vampires true to legend. In fact she even openly jokes about the fact that her vampires are not like *ahem..* “Real vampires” in the first novel. They sparkle because she wanted them to sparkle, because it makes them even more attractive to humans…. Love story. You may not like love stories and that’s OK. The series was never meant to be judged as an action story or a true vampire legend.
And as far as hating Twilight because the vampires have to few flaws… Should the world hate Superman because he’s even more indestructible than a Twilight vampire? No Superman is B-A and to a certain extent so are the Vampires in Twilight..
Its only a love story in a Mary Sue Stockholm syndrome way.
I guess I don’t know much about Mary Sue Stockholm syndrome. Would you mind explaining it to me and why it fits in this situation?
Mary Sue Stockholm Syndrome is when women write abstinence porn about fantasies they have about men stalking them. Symptoms of MSSS include poor writing, conservative religious undertones, feelings that the writer is afraid of vaginas, chauvinistic and abusive behaviour that is viewed as romantic, and of course, main characters that only the most bland of people could identify with as they have no hobbies, interests or personalities. The appeal however is that vapid people can take this empty shell of a character and imagine themselves in that abusive and unhealthy position.
If you suspect a book is suffering from MSSS please consult your local library and ask about real literature.
I’d say good explaination but… I don’t think you really know what Mary Sue Stockholm Syndrome is… As I figured you only wrote that comment because you heard it from someone you thought was cool and you want to be cool too.
Can anyone tell me what MSSS really is and why Twilight exhibits it?
Oh dear, you seem to be in the advanced state. Too bad you didn’t consult the library in time. I’m so, so sorry. It must so hard having such horrible taste. Don’t worry, our best writers are on the case, I would recommend Kurt Vonnegut or Neil Gaiman, I’m not to sure if they can cure this but they’re very good, and maybe with their help and time you can get over this.
Vonnegut… Slaughter House 5 right?
Yeah Slaughterhouse-five and Cat’s Cradle among others. Both good works.
Gotta hand it to you. You are moderately funny…
He’s combining the “Mary Sue” with Stockholm syndrome.
Mary Sue is what in fanfiction referes to the “perfect” charcter(good looking, smart, sexy, immortal etc.)
Originaly i do believe it comes from A Trekkie’s Tale(a star trek parody) where a charater named Mary Sue is the youngest, brightest, cutest officer starfleet has ever seen(ofc poking fun of the star trek character Wesley Crusher)
The Stockholm syndrom is where a captive starts to identify with her capturers(comes from a bank robbery in Stockholm where the staff was taken hostage but when the police tried to rescue them they fought to help the robbers/kidnappers.)
It can also be somewhat applied to relationships where the husband/wife is being abusive(although that is actually called battered-wife-syndrome).
So his combination of this seem to me to refer to Edward who is a “mary sue” and Bella, who sees no flaws in him even though she gets abused.
And to answer your post about the “redeeming” part, that’s just bullshit. Whatever reason there may be for treating someone like shit it doesn’t make it right. In quite a few cultures it’s ok to beat women but if the do it in my country and they get caught they sure won’t get off easier coz there are “redeeming” factors.
Thanks for clearing that up. Your post was definitely helpful.
Can you explain to me though why you think Edward treats Bella “like shit”? I read the books and I’m not going to lie. He’s not perfect but I don’t see how his behavior can be described that way. As far as beating women goes that doesn’t occur in the story but you may be likening his emotional abuse to physical abuse.
He is over-protective and controlling. He thinks he knows best and does things like disabling her car so she can’t go to La-Push. He has her safety in mind and is used to doing things his way. You really can’t forget that he is a vampire. Read the released chapters of Midnight-Sun. At the start of the story Edward’s psyche is far removed from humanity. His mind works objectively and with little real emotion. It is not the mind of a human but the mind of a vampire. It’s only through meeting Bella that he begins to think more like a human.
Still he is impulsive and sometimes forceful. What I meant by “redeeming” is that the fact that he genuinely loves Bella in a very powerful way goes to show that he doesn’t mean for his actions to be abusive. In looking at Edward’s character if he thought that his action harmed Bella physically or emotionally he would stop them. Case in point, in new moon he didn’t let Bella go to La-Push because he thought the wolves were dangerous. When he saw how angry this made Bella he let her go even though he didn’t like it. Also he let Bella hang out with Jacob even though he knew that Jacob loved Bella. A truly abusive boyfriend would not make those choices.
I look forward to hearing your response. I’m sure it will be well thought out and thorough.
Its true that he wasn’t really physically abusive, but I’d argue a relationship is looking pretty misogynistic when the boyfriend has to “let” his girlfriend do things. Its the fact that he’s so controlling that makes Edward a poor example of a healthy relationship.
Its not really a good example of Stockholm syndrome, but I suppose it could be used to help describe why people can defend their relationship with someone even when its costing them a lot. *shrug*
blade punchline: “ok, I KNOW you can sparkle; but… can you BLUSH?”
edward is so white!! There is no way he couldn’t blush
Sparkles is D.E.A.D.
It’s gotten to the point where I find the rabid Twilight haters about as annoying as the fans. Yeah, it sucks; get over it.
That being said, this post is awesome.
You want vamps in the modern age? NO ONE can hold a candle to Keebler Sutherland and his gang in “Lost Boys”. Them was so EEEBIL nasty mean vamp teens!
WIN! LOVED David, but Mike was almost as annoying as Edward.
Almost. He was super hot, so that made up for it.
And the Corey’s were always fun.
And the mindless bloodshed wreaked upon those unfortunate enough to be dinner…awesome.
Keebler??? Now I have this image of Kieffer and the Boys holed up in a tree… making cookies!
Me too! XD
Then my work here is done.
*squeals* That was the very first vampire movie I’ve seen and after that my love for vampires ensued…I mean, not really love, cuz…im not crazy or anything…but vampire fiction…i’m babbling, you know what i mean? I’M NOT CRAZY! *ahem* anyhoo, yeah GO LOST BOYS!!
I actually had a girl tell me that sucked compared to twilight. I just shook my head and walked off. I couldn’t even make fun of her. I can’t make fun of actual mental defects.
I’ve had girls tell me Harry Potter sucks compared to Twilight.
I have a former roommate (reclusive 30-year-old fanfic addict) who repeatedly tells me that Twilight is better than Bram Stoker’s original Dracula story.
This is how you send a writer into a frothing, incoherent rage, ladies and gentlemen.
Frood… I feel your pain. I had a colleague tell me that Bram Stoker was stupid and that Christopher Lee was lame and the whole sparkly beautiful romance undead thing was the future. That was going to vampire fiction for now and forever. And she practically challenged me to a fight when I said otherwise.
I am a writer too, and I am writing for that particular genre but I’m leaning more towards the classic story, or at least I try to. I’d never even heard of Twilight until the movie came out and now all anyone cares about is romance. It makes me feel like I’ve wasted two years worth of writing because my work has only tiny touches of romance in it. And it’s depressing when a woman who can barely string two words together is able to get published while the publishers themselves seem distant and unattainable. It doesnt matter about quality anymore, just whether you can get the hysterical fangirls to buy it- several times.
Sorry. But this is how you send a writer into a dark deep depression reaching for a bottle of wine.
Blade would eat Edward Cullen for breakfast. So would Alucard from the Hellsing anime.
Oh man, definitely. Alucard would beat Edward all over the screen without breaking a sweat while simultaneously hangin with Seras and Pip, throwin back a bag of blood. Ed’s pretty and speed has nothing on Al’s Restriction Arts of Awesomosity. :3
KRISTEN STEWART FACIAL EXPRESSION 1 OF 1.
i am a fan of vampire movies blade dracula blackula whatever but i refrain from watch or reading twilight, mainly because storyline i know vampires are sexual creatures but sparkle vampires are too much he is my believe
sun + vampire = fire burning body turning to ash
sun + vampire =/= sparke
but then again i heard it’s a good story and has a fan base. but this picture is funny on many levels
No, no. Whoever told you Twilight was a good story (or good writing, or characters, or anything else) was very very wrong and they need to read some real literature.
i knew i forgot the in ‘good story’ i read alot i am currently reading crime and punishment
Crime and punishments okay, I liked it for the characters, but sometimes it got a little hard to slosh through all the descriptions! But still an excellent book. I personally loved Posionwood Bible
That’s some funny shit and one of the best laughs I’ve had in a while.
OMG … is that MC Hammer?
Oho! Edward can’t touch him!
This is hilarious, best laugh ever. And I would like to think whether you like the series or as I do, despise it, you will be mature enough to find the funny side of this LOL.
really? no one got MY joke?
shame on you, blade watchers
:L
kill them
I haven’t laughed this hard in ages. THIS IS THE BEST LOL I’ve seen here in a while. I am crying I am laughing so hard. I don’t weigh in on the TWILIGHT vampire thing. Saw the movie. Will see the next. I personally prefer the HBO (and Charlaine Harris) TRUE BLOOD vamps but that’s beside the point. The anger the TWILIGHT vampires has invoked on this site has me laughing and kind of shocked. It’s the old ‘why can’t we all get along’ thing all over again.
FABULOUS FABULOUS side splittingly funny LOL. MANY thanks!
lol thanks for the comment ^^
and i cannot take any credit as it was my mate who made it, i just posted it
But but I am a Vampire… >.> We are real! We hide in your ghettoz and steals your unsuspecting peoples! ^=^ BWAHAHAHA!!!!!!! WE EATS BABIES!
>.> I just sat all over cat piss….
redstarr you can’t wear that sweater!!!!
Too bad the pic is photoshopped. Ouh well, time to go back to watching Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.. Hehe, I watched that movie only for one purpose. And it had nothing to do with harry potter. LOL
You’re watching, too?!
FUCK i would JIZZ all day if that hapenned!!!!
i can see the rest of the scene in my head and its just beautiful
I bet I have the scariest fangirl statement made in twilights defense. Upon telling her that the book had the writing style of a nursery school pupil, and reminding her that there are far greater books out there for her to read, such as Dune, Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and Lord of the Rings, she replied, ‘Those books suck compared to Twilight.’ Gently and reasonable, I stated that those books were much better, especially lord of the rings, considering that Stephanie Meyers wrote Twilight in a comfortable home, while Tolkien wrote LotR in a muddy trench while some angry germans wanted to see him about having some bullets being forcefully thrust through his skull. When she didn’t listen, I had to eat her. (kk, THAT parts made up. But I wish I had…)
I suggest you go back and remove her reproductive organs with a blowtorch.
I am in complete agreement with that suggestion.
Don’t eat her. I fear that she will taste of crap. There be something very rotten in that child.
Wow, there’s a girl at my school who wears Twilight shirts EVERY DAY and has a Twilight backpack and sneakers AND she has buttons ON her backpack and carries all four books around AND the dvd in her backpack. If I didn’t have restraint I would’ve shoved her tater tots in her face long ago!
There’s one at every school…
In my case, it was horses. Just horses in general. She liked horses. A lot.
Oh my…I know one of those.
That sounds unhealthy, and possibly illegal in every state except New Jersey.
I know a frog one.
Thank god that my school is a private one, so no one is a twilighter (highlighter) any longer.
I don’t get it. Who is Wesley Snipes? Is he like a bad person or something?
No, he’s a good guy for ending those two.
One slice will take BOTH their stupid heads off. Someone please make THAT movie!!!!!!
That’s more animated gif material.
It won’t take long, and you’ll see it over and over.
First picture to make fun of Twilight I lol’d at!
Excellent photoshop. Kudos to the creator.
F*** YEA!!!
DEATH TO SPARKLY VAMPITERS!!
this is digital gold incased in platnum with dimond spot lights!
I wonder… how do you guys view Blade II? Not only does most of the Blood Pack appear to have feelings, Blade tries to keep them alive at the expense of his own safety, and when he doesn’t need them anymore, he doesn’t kill Nyssa but is nice to her.
Since everyone that likes Blade wants Blade to be a stonefaced, emotionless killingmachine, does that movie suck in the eyes of the fans?
And if Blade loved (and according to deleted scenes may have had sex with) Nyssa, does that make him a necrophiliac?
Also, since that movie shows vampires to be something more than evil killers, is it a bad movie? Since that is the foundation of the Twilight criticism, that vampires aren’t just evil monsters?
Since Buffy: TVS (series) showed that not all Vampires are just cold-blooded killing machines some 5 years earlier, and is generally respected could that answer your query?
Isn’t much of the QQ about twilight that the vampires aren’t cold-blooded killers?
They can’t be dangerous if they don’t kill in cold blood.
Also, about Buffy.. her single purpose in life is to kill all vampires and she falls in love with two of them… isn’t that sort of… worse than Bella in Twilight who is just a normal teenager?
As someone with the name Cullen, I truly appreciate this. Big LOL’s !!!
STOLEN FROM MORONAIL.NET
incase you havent noticed, alot of stuff on this site was originaly from other sources
yeeii bladee!! kill familiarr!
yaaah blade rullez man =D..
Folks sorry to say this , i know tat movie its one of the most famous and watched movie, but seriously i NEVER i mean NEVER see a movie like that it sucks, it kill great vampire movies , it just horrible ..This isn’t avampire movie this is a romance movie xD i hate it , it sucks worst movie EEEEEVER
thank you for this information. I hope u ll go on helping us to learn this kind of important issues <a href=
thank you for this information. I hope u ll go on helping us to learn this kind of important issues Eğlence ve hüznün bir arada yaşandığı bir dünya.!!!
OH HELL YEAH!
I’m a girl and I hate twilight so I think this picture is hilarious. Edward should kick the bucket to make way for more “authentic” vampires. Besides who the hell decided vampires sparkles no they don’t unless Elton John is a vampire.
You guys are a bunch of weirdo’s i LOVE twilight i enjoy the book’s if you just TRY to read it you may like it it really good me and my mom like twilight. Like it or not twilight will be here a LONG time like 4 or 5 year and it MAY be done so stop crying like babies!!
Other vampire stories have been around for over 100 years now, and are still considered worth reading. 4 or 5 years is not a long time, except in terms of 5th rate fan fiction.
WELL SAID!
Lucinda, just because you like Twilight, it does not equate to it being a
book that people can’t say bad things about. 5 years, what a LOOOOONG time
that is, and it MAY be done. Thanks for tearing down your own argument.
We are not crying like babies, just giving honest criticism.
And honey, weirdo’s do not come with an apostrophe. ‘I’ should be capitalised.
Go read some good books and learn good language and grammar!